900. Chris & Jason

All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you?

We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hello and gone. It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Los Angeles. It's a rare occasion where I'm back in the lab with DJ Them Jeans over here in Glendale.

What's going on, man?

The windows are open. I'm checking out his new rig. I don't mean body, he got a new—

yeah, but you know, you already know what it is. I've been in the gym.

I will say you rearrange this room pretty often in a way that I feel like you're still trying to discover the feng shui that works for you.

I just like switching positions.

All right, thanks for joining us today on How Long Gone.

Well, I mean, I, I've— I think it's always been a hobby of mine since I was a kid. Just like even when I was 8, I'd be like, Mom, I need a refresh. And then I just go and I flip. What if the bed was here instead of here type shit? But now and now when I'm with Carolyn, I'll be like, what if this happened? And she— and sometimes she'll say like, oh yeah. And sometimes she's like, no. And here's why. And I'm glad that—

well, this is your little— this is your little area, though. So you get to do whatever you want here.

This is— don't call it little. This is your— it's a regular size office. It is kind of little.

No, no, it's a regular size office. I just meant your little area because I feel like it's— it's this—

it just— no girls allowed type shit. It does feel like no girls allowed type shit unless they want to get in that sauna.

She's like, Carolyn just cracks the door and peeks in. She won't walk in fully. It's— it's like a mom when you're 16.

She walks by and throws my dirty, dirty socks and underwear in here and closes the door.

Close it. Never looks.

She picked up in the living room.

Never looks inside. Oh God.

It's better that way. So welcome to Cali. It was— I mean, I was listening to Joe Budden podcast. They're talking about it's 4 degrees over there. It's 81 over here.

This feels unnatural both ways.

Okay, like you don't deserve this level of weatherness.

That obviously, but also I just felt like New York, the cold was like extreme in a way that I feel like I haven't felt there in years, weirdly. Hey man, but I think I fucked up getting those bagels. When I got those bagels, I think it fucked me up. I think I went to a stream.

So the famous story last week when you went to Apollo's place.

Yeah, but it wasn't easy.

Because you were craving that courage so bad you had to go.

But I really think that walking [redacted address] in the snow was not— maybe not.

Okay. So you got COVID-19, but 19 means how many degrees?

Yeah, I got COVID. I think I definitely had something, but I'm good now. I'm coming back.

COVID-19 Fahrenheit.

You don't have your No, I, I know.

Strip?

No, I'm fine. I just, I've had to stay out quite late and then, um, when I got here— oh no, I did drip right before I left.

IV? Yeah. Or cold brew?

Both.

Okay.

Both. But it didn't— the drip, usually you feel it instantly. You're like, oh man, I'm back. Didn't— I think it was fighting a little harder battle this time is what I'm trying to say.

Sometimes it takes a little more crank on the reel to get that big old marlin in the boat, brother.

But I made the, the rookie mistake of riding the city bike in the sludge. And it— well, I didn't know—

describe what sludge is for our listeners.

Sort of like the leftover— the snow— the roads are clear, you know, like they've been cleared. It's pretty easy to drive, but there's still a layer.

Thanks to Gorillaz, though. I heard he's been cleaning those streets in a timely manner, right? It's—

no, it's quite impressive. Yeah, but the— there's like a, you know, there's a layer of slush still on the road, and if you ride the bike on it Everything seems fine. And then you look at your bike. Oh, you got—

you got the spray. You got the whale tail.

I got sprayed. I got fully sprayed.

So you got— you got sludge all over the Moncler.

Yeah, the Moncler. The Moncler Gilet is all— no, it's, um—

you got the white, the Coke white Helly Hansen. Got the Epstein parka on.

I fucked—

you know how many kids you can fit in that parka? Talking about getting the— getting the Navigator.

I got the— I got the Not navigator. But yeah, so I fucked up and I was like, oh, that's it. So then I had to walk home, which was a little more also something more I didn't want to do.

So, you know, it's funny, like sometimes, especially if you are in tune with your body, like how I know you are, you can pinpoint the exact moment where the virus has taken over your body and you have become sick.

I just, yeah. Cause the mind virus took over about 5 or 6 years ago, but the regular virus, luckily I think I've killed it. I had, I went to Erawan of course, as soon as I landed. And I, I just picked like, I think there's one called Germ Warfare, which is sick.

From the Elixir Bar?

Yeah.

You're speaking of—

it's a $10.50 small shot.

Okay. Germ Warfare.

Sick.

Not bad.

And I, I took it and I didn't—

sounds like a Drudge Report headline that I click on about Iran.

Very much. I didn't know, I didn't know. I, I just always expect those kind of things to be gingery. And it was not. It was disgusting. But it really felt like it worked.

Was it some blue spirulina type shit?

Worse than that. It literally tasted— it's— I don't know what it— I cannot tell you what the flavor was.

Okay.

It was sort of metallic in— in—

don't let me get my little—

no, in my— but it was sort of metallic. It had a little— it had a little bit of like a—

dude, what if there's— if Erawan had an elixir shot called 5G?

I'm sure.

What does that do? And it's like, you know how you have any cavities anymore?

Poof, be gone, cavities.

What is in the germ warfare juice at Airwalk?

It's very small, but I think that's why the flavor is so robust.

This is some good podcasting on a Sunday. We got Grammys. It's tough. We're not going to be able to really watch the Grammys that much, are we? We're not going to be able to finish it.

I need to see Bieber.

I know. Okay. Yeah, it doesn't—

germ war—

hmm, hmm, hmm. Colloidal silver.

I was right.

Colloidal silver, reishi tea powder, black elderberry. Garlic extract, oregano oil, grapefruit seed extract, astragalus, a traditional herb used in herbal immune formulas, and then echinacea as well.

It did feel like it worked, but the flavor was—

That colloidal silver's down.

The flavor was diabolical. I was like, I didn't know what I was getting into. I just, I don't know why my brain said ginger turmeric because it was like black, like the color.

You're sweet for trying to pronounce turmeric correctly.

I only do things correctly to be respectful.

I know turmeric is like my version of myriad where people are like, it's actually, you don't have to say a myriad of, it's actually just myriad houseplants.

That's why I'm just gonna avoid that altogether.

Yeah. Just people with your limited capacity mentally should just avoid using myriad in a sentence.

I try to go, I try to just go nonverbal as much as I can. So I don't mess up.

I'm gonna pull up your Google Drive, your Google Doc for book draft number 11 and do a word search for myriad.

No, there's not. I would never type that word out. You wouldn't? I don't think so.

I've typed it so many times. Once I found out you don't have to add of after it, that is—

make that—

doesn't make it—

that does make it special.

That was my honey trap.

I don't think I've ever typed it. I, I could be wrong, of course, but I'm about to get killed today because I wrote about the Harry Styles ticket pricing and I'm just waiting for the fucking The, the fans, your propaganda.

I saw that on my—

well, it wasn't— it was— it's just sort of like, I don't know what you guys— so what's the plan? You want Harry Styles to fight Ticketmaster like The Cure or Pearl Jam? That's not gonna happen. It's— you want to go up there alone with no band? No, I just don't know what the answer is. The tickets are definitely too expensive, but they all sell. So what, what are you supposed to do?

We are living in a capitalist society.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's fair. I think that fans should be able to see it, but I'm just saying, like, what is he supposed to do?

Ticket going cost I mean, I think at some point we're going to have to create like a, like a diffusion line for live performances. You know how there's like the Hulu with ads or you can't afford this, so you got to get the little champ, champs, Mark by Mark, Mark by Mark type shit. There's going to be like, oh, you can't afford the Harry Styles Human in concert version. You're going to— it's like when you stream it, when the Chicago Blackhawks are playing the away game, but everyone still goes to the arena to watch the game on the big screen.

Yeah.

You're gonna have like, for, for $40, you can watch— we're gonna like project it on a screen on the parking garage at the Grove or something.

Really annoying guy that I don't like or find charming that has scheduled this for fashion shows. He's like an influencer who wears red lipstick and he does these— he's like, I'm democratizing. And so like they all go to a bar and stream a fashion show. Oh, and I'm just like, dude, some things just for people who don't have to like for people who have no business going.

Pay $5 to the Vogue runway.

I don't think there's any money. I think it's like a community. Like, it's basically like, oh, we're gonna get together at the bar and watch the game because we're all freaks or gay, and the game is the Celine show on, on the— it literally looks like they're watching the World Cup, right?

Right, right.

And it's just so— something about it is so dark to me. Well, because a fashion show lasts 12 minutes.

That's true.

Like, you're— what do you— like, what, what is it?

Yeah, do they— maybe they play highlights from other Like, okay, we're gonna watch the new Celine show, and then we're gonna do—

it was unbelievable, the pick-six that Alaya did.

I mean, we're gonna do Hedi bingo and then just kind of take five.

It is like that, but I think some things, it's just like not—

we're gonna show McQueen '97. I think it's stolen valor. You don't like fashion people coming into our spaces and doing what we do. It's like, you didn't— you don't invite us to your fashion community, you judge me and my sports jersey, my Derek Jeter jersey. You think I look bad? Let me enjoy my Derek Jeter jersey in my bar in peace.

You can't come to the bar.

You can't come in. It's the same thing as, well, first of all, it's the RuPaul Drag Race at the bar. That's the gateway drug. And now, now we've got the Celine show. But also, like you were saying, we need the sense of, it's the community is what it's all about.

I don't need a community to look at clothes. That's not a community.

Well, you don't. But many do.

Clearly.

I mean, you and I don't need a sense of community. We are—

We have friends.

Well, we have friends. We're lucky enough and privileged enough to have— I mean, I am community. You know what I mean? Starring Donald Glover.

Privileged enough to have friends.

But not— I mean, it's getting harder and harder to have real life friends. I agree. And I like that they're making some effort to not do this on Discord. Reddit.

That's true. You're right. You're right.

You're right. 4chan or whatever.

I find it lame, but when you put it that way, it does make sense.

And as long as they're buying wings and Fireball shots and doing it more, I think it's more of, I don't want them to doing, I don't want them to be doing like mezcal skinny girl.

I think it's, I think it's more red wine by the glass with fries, you know, because it's in Paris or, you know, whatever. So it's not, I wish it was a little more Wild Wings, but Vibes.

Okay. Okay.

Which would make it really funny.

These wings, the wild wings.

If they take over a sports bar and it's just every—

B-Dub-Dub Fall Winter 27.

Every show is on every screen. Like it's the mission control.

Once, once the gays finally take over, you go to Vegas here in the sports, you know, just boom on all the screens. We got Jacque Amuse in 5. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to take a piss. Get me another fucking Modelo. I can't miss Giacomo's.

It's so bad. It's that honestly, I don't think we're that far off from that.

Look, I mean, that's more interesting to me than watching a football team play another football team. I don't give a shit about.

Yeah. I think that people, I think that people will gamble on anything.

So I'm not as straight as Chuck Klosterman.

Oh, because there's no football this week because of the Super Bowl is next week. Right.

So yeah, we just have the footy.

You guys have a down week.

Yeah, I mean, I still got Arsenal, but you know.

Oh, Jesus.

No, and the Australian Open is done. There was like the Ukrainian standoff thing. Yeah, that was kind of weird.

Carlito won. Mr. Boring.

And Rafa looks like he has a degenerative disease or something.

Dude, I just like feel bad. I do too. But I mean, you just got to make somebody in his life needs to be like, all right, bro. Shave the head.

Oh, you think the hair is the source of his—

100%. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.

A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do?

3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess.

The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother.

Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, uh, stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch on YouTube. It's 3 times a week. And, and who couldn't use more news, you know, especially especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a, give it a listen. Give it a listen. Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water.

He knows how to charge my copay.

Exactly.

That's about it.

As if I could drink more water, doctor. I don't get data. I don't get a game plan. I just get a pat on the ass and get out there and make it better. But Superpower is doing something different. Superpower sends a licensed professional to your home, or you can visit a nearby lab if you're a little freak. It's a simple blood draw, one simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers, which is way more than what you usually get, and it unlocks a real understanding of your body. Uh, their app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid hormones, metabolism, vitamin, mineral levels, and even environmental toxins.

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That's like some Euro shit where like those guys will hang on and some of them can pull it off and it's like fine to me.

Like if you're going to do that, just go Ralph Lauren and just wear a hat with your suit, you know, just like put a, put a ball cap on.

You have a logo.

You have many logos. You probably are contractually obligated to wear a hat.

That's also true.

Throw a fucking hat on. But so you're saying as soon as he shaves that head, he will, he will have life back in his face. His cheeks will be—

I also think guys like that really do be going through it when they can't play. I think there's a long period where it's like, I'm completely lost. I have no basis for living.

Or also once you, once you stop that crazy training regimen, your body probably goes into shock and it's like, what's going on? Why are we just sitting on the couch?

You're saying I can have one square of dark chocolate tonight? Are you sure, coach?

It has to be 100% cocoa and you, you can chew, but you can't swallow. You can do gummies.

Chew it as much as you want and just let me know what you want to do with it. Because, because there's places we can put it.

Oh man. Milk chocolate. It's too good, right? Whoever decided to add milk to chocolate.

Those Belgian people are crazy.

Um, let's see here. Uh, the cum trees are in bloom. Have you noticed that, Chris? I don't know if they have that over in New York.

Uh, I haven't actually. I mean, well, all of them are dead. In New York right now.

Exactly.

So I don't think that's—

Shit's in full bloom. I walk the dog in the morning. Oh Lord. Smell like Epstein Island.

Bro, we gotta stop releasing these papers. There's too many papers. Also, the fact that people fell for the Jay-Z thing is hilarious.

Well, because it's quite plausible, isn't it?

No, that's the whole thing. Like, the dates are all crazy. It's like he was like a teenager or something. He wasn't famous, I guess. It's like when they tried to put Drewski with Diddy. He's like— Bro, I was like a fat high schooler with $3. Like, I wasn't there. But people just believe in— people really want Jay-Z to be bad. They really want Jay-Z to be Illuminati.

Well, I think people just want shit to go down.

I don't think any big shit's gonna happen though. I mean, I think this— the best thing that happened was what's his name, was, uh, Gates.

Gates.

Gates.

The motherfucker Gates, bro.

I need a little something. I, you know, I got a lot.

Yeah, what a great— what a cool thing to do. Like, Let's see here. I can never admit to Melinda Gates, my number one rock, my number one bottom bitch, holding me down through thick and thin, through Windows 95, 98, 2000, all that shit.

She was there for all the Windows though. For real.

And if you have to sit her down and tell her like, hey, I know we've been married for 74 years, but I gave you gonorrhea because I've been having sex with Russian children and women.

It's actually crazy because everything is pretty bad and no one seems to be taking it seriously at all. It's just a joke. Yeah, like it really is. It does. I mean, it's very bad. And I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm taking it as a joke too, but it's like very, very bad.

Well, because it's like, ah, it's redacted. This is crazy. We have to either laugh through it or take the deep, dark look in the mirror.

The best thing I saw was somebody searching Ronnie Fieg's name and be like, I don't believe it. Because you just search anybody's name.

They scrubbed Ronnie.

It's so funny that you could search anybody's name and just have the screenshot. It's really funny.

And also, I love that it's all on email. You know, it's no—

I like it. People are really debating his email style. I think it's quite cool.

Look, everyone, everyone knows at this point the biggest bosses in the game, they type emails with one finger. There is no punctuation.

Yeah.

No capitalization. Many typos. It's a one-word response to a three-page question. Yeah. But that reply gets sent within 20 minutes of receiving the mail. And I have this much time. I don't— it's a flex to send somebody an email.

I know people were like so surprised by— I'm like, man, you guys have never met people who email like this. I know. I mean, I would say the spelling errors I'm not quite as used to, but the brevity is something that I'm aware of and I aspire to, honestly. But then somebody told me that my email style was curt.

You do have a curt email style, but I know that it's— I don't take it personally.

I'm like, I got nothing else to say. Like I've said all of the things I need to say. What am I supposed to do?

That's why we make a good team. You're Kurt and I'm too Courtney. I'm too Courtney. I just mean I'm the type of motherfucker that's going to reply saying thanks so much.

I will hit the— I say I'm polite. I'm just not going to go further.

If I had a dollar every time you replied with a jovial exclamation point, I would probably have $4.

I use exclamation points all the time to the point of it might be bad.

I'm not seeing it. Well, I email a lot.

Okay. I email a lot. So don't try to—

You say I'm not the only one you're emailing?

I do email other people besides you.

Are there others? Tell me now. Are there others?

We're in a polyamorous email relationship.

It's like those videos where it's like, I'm going to show my wife her Hinge profile on our 20th anniversary. I'm like, why do you have Gmail on your phone? Why do you have Gmail on your phone?

Wow.

Okay.

Okay. You have multiple accounts.

Who the fuck is Amazon? Something about your credit limit has gone down. Okay. But my favorite is the Elon Musk try.

I need to party.

Him saying girls for the win in an email to Epstein and Epstein.

That sounds like one of your first tweets. Sorry, Bobby.

Look, not, not 100% false. Girls for the win.

Girls for the win. It really does sound like the child took over the—

But I like that a guy whose job is to provide girls for the win. And he was like, oh, nah, sorry, bro.

I think—

And because, and I think because of that, because Elon Musk is so cringe, that he can't even buy him his way into sex with, with girls for the win. I think that with his amount of power, influence, and money and nerd rage, it's like a school shooter, but he has every gun in the world, you know, like the potential for like, it's like real evil Dr. Evil villain shit, like He's so powerful and so scorned and so embarrassed. He's going to have a nerd rage and just like—

Well, that's why he has 40 kids with unnamed women. That's his get back. That's his get back. He thinks he got one over on us by procreating too much.

So his master plan is to have a master race of Musks. He's going to Musk the world.

Dude, it is just—

And they're going to do his bidding.

But also—

But it's all backfiring. All of his children are trans people who hate him. Yeah, and he's gonna have to kill all of them too.

I think that this— the unfortunate part about all of this is it's going to make people that, um, are maybe tend to believe theories that are— seem extreme, think that everything—

prone to conspiracy.

Now they're gonna think everything's true because this one is. And I'm just like, it's not. Everything is an industry plant set up. Like, this is a— this is maybe a one-time—

no, honestly, that is like that whole phenomenon, there's a decent chance that that could be sort of just the end of society and like human everything, believing anything. Yeah, just— well, I mean, and that's why the government has tried to keep so much stuff hidden from the world, because, you know, if you read all those books and talk to all those people, they all, you know, if, if, if the population really knew what was going on, yeah, yeah, you know, blah blah blah. That's true. And I think now that if enough of these things come through the cracks, the Epstein shit, some UFO shit, some JFK shit, some whatever shit, if it really starts coming to the surface, then we will have full skepticism, no trust of anything. And then it's like, you know, dog eat dog world out there for sure. Kill or be killed.

I think that's really the problem here, which is why—

and I've been saying it, I've been getting a lot of flak for this lately— we need martial law. I'm just going to say it.

Well, I know you were striking on Friday. I'm sorry that we posted an episode on Friday.

No, no, no, no. I made sure to post it Thursday night.

Nice. Nice. You got, okay. Cause, cause I saw that some local businesses were donating. They were still open, but they were going to donate profits from certain menu items.

You know, there was a lot of, there, it was a real which way Western man scenario. It was a crossroads with a few different options. You could either close down.

Yeah.

You could stay open and write a 12-page Instagram post about your reasons for it. Or you can do a thing that I saw a few different restaurants do is say that you, you have to close that day for maintenance or like some type of emergency, which I saw a few places do that.

That's very weird. I find the whole thing, I just don't know what a coffee shop in Cobble Hill closing is going to do to reinstate democracy in our country. I also think anything that stems from like an Instagram post from a graphic designer 2 days before, I just, the whole thing is insane to me. Like obviously, obviously something's gotta be done. That ain't gonna do shit.

Well, I think there's, there's 2, you can either just bend over and take it, or you can do something. And it's either you can protest with how you spend your dollars and with targeted attacks with enough people, hopefully, you know, you can damage, deal some damage.

But this is the issue is that this, this particular thing is like, you know, there are people that can't not go to work and those are the people we should be most concerned with. Like you not, you—

They're, they're building the track while the train's moving.

It's just like the people that are most affected by this are ones that cannot take off a Friday without getting fired. Like, what sense does that make? Like, the people you actually— I just blows my mind.

Yeah. Do you guys want money for your job so you can live and buy food for your family, or do you want the support from white people?

No, people, yeah, people think they literally think that, like, if I, I just don't— the, the, the, the way it's all put together and the way that people felt the pressure to participate. When it was clearly like, this is kind of stupid. And I obviously, it's a reaction to something that's horrible. So I know it's not going to be completely thought out because they're trying to act fast, but like, who is act— who is it? Like, who are— there's like a history of like organizers. There's a real way to do that. This is not that.

Yeah. I mean, I guess the thing is, if there was a good idea for this, you know, this has been a problem that's been happening for thousands of years and, you know, and whatever, form. If there was a great solution for it, we would have had one, like so many of our problems in life.

What people's argument is though, is that like this sort of thing has worked before, obviously, like the '60s or whatever.

Yeah.

And I'm like, sure, it's not the '60s anymore. And that's the— I think that's the issue.

If the problem— if the only ways you can protest are with your dollars and hopefully dealing blows to these big corporations and organizations, and if you start to You know, it's like the— it's a David and Goliath thing. One of those little pebbles hits you in the right spot, and you see that's a weak spot, and we do it again next month, we do it every week, and then, you know, those dollars start adding up and affecting the powers that be. Some change could be enacted when the only other option is going out on the street protesting, throwing a brick through a fucking Dick's Sporting Goods and getting bear-maced and shot in the face. There's, you know, It's either that or, or this, or do what we do, which I feel like we have diplomatic immunity in the situation. We are the, the entertainers and the jesters. All the people that are taking the days off of work that took Friday off, what are they going to do?

They got to do some dishes, they got to wash the car, walk the dogs.

They're not going on Amazon for 24 hours and they need them jeans and Chris Black to make them forget about the terrible things happening in the world for just 1 hour.

I just don't, I just don't, I don't know, man. I was like watching that, I was like, I can't believe we're doing this again. I can't believe that. I feel like, I feel like as a society we should have moved past sort of grandstanding on Instagram to feel good about yourself, but I guess that's what the whole platform is built on and supported by.

Look, both sides are, are fucked and both sides are equally embarrassing. It's, it's similar to the, uh, the Melania documentary thing. Like, I feel like people who are getting dressed up and doing photo shoots at the movie theater as they're, they're in line for the 10:30 AM Melania screening, you people are super fucked up. And then all the progressive left-wing journalists and podcasters and Substackers and Letterboxdsters, they are waking up on premiere day and putting their clothes on and doing their hair because they're going to take a selfie of themselves in the movie theater and it's totally empty. And I'm going to write a burn article and I'm going to give it fucking 1 star. And this movie is so bad. It's just as dumb.

Everyone's a loser.

Everyone's a loser.

It's true. That's a great example of where like, wow, no one's winning this right now.

It's all like the— what's, what's going on is bad. And the way that some people are combating it is really bad too. But you know, we gotta flail, we gotta go back and forth.

But I just feel like the Ice thing is just so bad. Like, it's so obviously bad. Like, I don't know what there is to talk about, do you know what I mean? It's like so bad and inhumane that it's sort of like, yeah man, I know. And, and like, your 1,000 followers agree with you, so I don't know how many times you could— I just don't know what— I guess what I'm saying is I don't think anything actually does anything, and that's bad. And I don't know what it would take for someone to actually move into—

Well, when the country was first formed and we had our rights and our amendments and everything, and we had the right to bear arms in case the government tried to overthrow us, and we could band together as people and combat them man versus man with our muskets and our sabers on horseback, we had a fair fight. But now if we choose to fight the government or the military or the police, a kid in Idaho hits a button on the laptop and a drone kills you, kills your family.

It's not really like—

there's no— there's just no chance, you know what I mean? It's just like me versus the Denver Nuggets, 1 on 10, you know? You know.

No, you're right, you're right.

It's you versus Jake Paul in the octagon.

Oh hey, that's not— that's not— I don't think I'm that—

look, you're gonna, you're gonna get us some licks in, but you're gonna lose.

You're gonna lose. That's a, that's a fair assessment.

Guys, sick.

I wanted to tell you about my day yesterday because I, I broke a new record for myself. I went to 3 different Los Angeles hotels, and I valeted in one day. In one day?

Damn, how long you been slinging for, bro?

So I, I went to, I went to the Beverly Hills Hotel to have lunch with JD. JD, a music, a legendary music manager I've known forever. Parking, $22 plus tip.

$22 plus tip, pretty reasonable. Okay.

The food was actually pretty good, I gotta say.

What hotel?

Polo Lounge, Beverly Hills.

Oh yeah, classic.

So I ran into Jason Isbell, friend of the show, in the lobby.

We got J-I and J-B—

J-D. J-I and J-D.

Okay. So then, what up with Isbell?

He's playing last night, he plays last night, and he's up for a bunch of Grammys. Yeah, he played the Orpheum last night, but he's—

oh my God, my God.

I was like, bro, can you explain the difference between Americana and roots to me? He's like, don't ask me. He's like, bro, I'm off right now, bro, I'm with my kids. He's literally just sitting scrolling on his phone, and I'm like, what's up, bro? He's like, why I always see you at places like this. Like, what's up with you? But did that, had lunch. Reese Witherspoon was there, looked amazing. I have to say, Reese was looking okay. Good.

Get it, girl.

Get it, girl. Sharon Osbourne, not so good. Um, then Shiv is staying at Bel Air, so I go to Bel Air. Same ownership, $22 plus tip. Iced coffee, guess the price of a cold brew over at the Hotel Bel Air. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month. And this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But the truth is no one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference.

I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most, that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp. Choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over 6 million people globally are using it. And, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/tom.

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18.

Close.

16. Damn, 16.

Got out of there for under 20. Sure, Shiv treated me, actually. I'm not gonna front.

That's nice. Then you know that cold brew tastes better when it's 16.

It was really good, actually. I was surprised how good it was. So then I took a break, changed clothes, went to Chateau Marmont to meet Tish. Chateau Marmont, 1-hour parking. 1 hour of LA.

Don't say 30.

$45 plus tip.

Per hour?

I don't— I think—

Or you're just allowed 1 hour?

No, I think it goes down after, but I've never parked a car there unless it was an event or I was staying there, so I didn't really know.

That's so cool.

And they kind of just skirt— they're like, It's—

you don't want— you don't want this, young man.

I'm like, bro, I'm here and there's nowhere to park. Like, what the fuck do you think I'm going to do?

Like, it's literally just going to find a meter on the Sunset Strip.

It's fucking no man's land. Armand's got like [redacted address]. There's fucking people everywhere.

All this— all the neighborhoods are permit only.

But what was interesting about the last stop is Tish ordered a coconut water. They got Harmless Harvest at Chateau Marmont.

As they should.

That's— I was impressed.

Coconut water.

I was impressed that they weren't trying to do something weird, you know, because there's only one.

I mean, that's why Chateau is the best.

They didn't have with pulp, but I asked.

That's why their hotel rooms look like Granny's cottage from the 1800s. And they're still the best. They just make the right decisions.

Make the right decision. But it was, it was a big day. And then I tried to valet at the Pitchfork party at El Cid. No valet.

Mm.

Which was, I was trying to end my night.

They were doing Uber codes.

Yeah.

Classy.

Very classy. It was a good party.

It was a really good party. I'm sad. I miss it. I, I, I went to see a friend of the show, Jock Green DJ. Where was he playing? It was an MMA rave downtown.

What does that mean?

It means that—

I know those two words. I don't understand when they're combined.

It was like a warehouse downtown. There's— there's DJs playing like a big club sound system. Sounded good. And then there was like a literal octagon and they had like—

these are going on at the same time, 3 or 4, like fights. So you're saying I can hear the style, musical stylings of Jacques Greene while dudes are kicking each other's asses?

He played after the fighting happened. But I think while the fighting was happening, you know, maybe some more opening DJs kind of playing background stuff. But yeah, there was like jiu-jitsu and muay thai and boxing and I don't know, like it was a real MMA event.

That's crazy.

A lot of Asians.

Who, who paid for it? Like who's the pres— who presents something like that? I don't, I mean, who brings those two worlds together is what I'm trying to say.

From the twisted mind of—

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not exactly sure. We have some friends. I know Steve, our friend Stevie is involved in some way. Was it fun? It was fun, yeah. And I was, I was thinking I was gonna go to El Cid after for the Pitchfork party, but since we have our Grammy party tonight, I didn't want to push it too hard. I've already pushed, I already pushed it hard enough at the MMA Rave Friday.

I went to Ian's The Fela Kuti thing, and then I went to Pharrell's thing, and I left before Stevie Wonder came, which I am— I just wanted to test his little ass.

Was Epstein File Pusha T there?

Uh, Yeah, yeah, they're gonna— I think they're gonna win. Oh, I hope they win.

They're gonna be acquitted.

Yeah, that's what it means. You want to grab me? I got acquitted. But I just— I stayed—

I saw a video of— he was either Pusha or— I think it was Pusha. He, he tweeted a picture of— he put like a gram of, of white powder on his MacBook trackpad, and it was like, Steve Jobs, you a fool for this, or something like that. Or like, Tim Cook, Tim Apple, you crazy for that one.

Do you—

what, what white powder do you think he used?

Probably some electrolytes.

It was, it was a delicious Magna.

That'd be really funny if it was electrolytes. I spilled it. But this is a funny picture actually. I thought about you last night because I wanted to get your opinion on, um, there was a lot of young artists at the Pitchfork, you know, there was a lot of like Netspend, hot new artists.

Oh yeah, Netspend was wearing a fucking 3-year-old yellow puffer.

Ned Spin looks like he's toddler section. He had found every perk in his drawer, I'll say that. So we got—

how many perks you take?

Yeah, yeah, that's literally what I was like. Yeah, but I was, I was there, there was that the DJ that wears the horse mask, horse girl was walking around and I'd never seen Miss Mrs. Ed in person and I was kind of like, Miss Ed, but they have holes, she has holes cut out so she can, she doesn't need like a, she's not like Hamburglar.

This old pony knows how She didn't need help.

But I was like, and then I was like, this is some, I just, somebody had the little horse leash. You go blind mode where you put the hand on the shoulder. What music, what kind of music does Horse Girl play? Is it good?

I think it's just like, like queer techno house club vibes. Okay. But I've never, I've never been to a Horse Girl show at the stables.

I was just, I was just, I was watching her walk around with Alex Chapman, of course. And I was like, and then I saw a bunch of tweets today being like, I know Alex and Horse Girl are our squad. There was some tweets of pictures of her from the party and they were just like, all right, we're done. Like, I can't, I gotta lie.

Our, I mean, our, our friend Nicky Campbell, he was doing the rundown.

Yeah.

Of like the Spotify party that Horse Girl was at. And you know, everyone's looked like, love it, hate it. Yes. Lose the shoes, blah, blah, blah. And then Horse Girl pops up and he's like, I'm sorry, I just, you know, can't— like, but Horse Girl is very divisive, and I admire their same tenacity of sticking to the bit because the bit is fucking insane.

Bit is insane. I respect it 100%. My question though is, and I was trying to ask this around the party last night, but none of these fucking gatekeepers would tell me—

do the curtain match the drapes? No, I was like, do the horns match the hood?

I was like, what, what's under the mask though? Because like, is it— is she covering up for a reason or is she covering up because she's an artist, if you know what I'm saying?

Is, is he covering it up?

I believe—

are they—

I believe it's a she.

We don't, we don't gender. I think that's an equine gender in equine gendering. Okay, so you're saying— okay, so like a good example, our friend of the show Orville Peck.

He was brought up last night.

He performs in a mask, but when you see him in real life, he's a handsome—

yeah. He doesn't need it.

He's a good-looking jacked guy. Good face. Good body. He's living life. So you're speculating.

I'm not saying I'm asking.

We're just asking.

I'm asking if any of you have seen Horse Girl in the lab mask off. Just let us know. I just want— I mean, I can ask Alex, I guess.

Is it full beat or is it full beat?

Yeah. Like, do you— yeah. Do you get your makeup done under the mask?

Is there a birthmark? Oh, do you get— yeah. Do you—

Is the mask hot? Like, how does it work? Because it feels custom.

And just after our— the famous heavyweight boxing match where the guy punched somebody's hair clean off their head, is there a certain point where this horse has some beef with another, you know, donkey in the stable? And then is somebody going to go up behind her and snatch that wig? Snatchiana de-mask the horse girl. And then you have— what if What if they didn't have the concealer?

I would love a rave beef.

What if they didn't put the serum on? But do you think—

I guess my other question, maybe there's a—

what if Horse Girl missing an eye?

But is Horse Girl— the other question is, did she, when she started this—

Alex, send me a photo of—

did she get a, did she get a mask at like the Halloween store and then realized she liked it and then had one custom made to her specifications? So how many do you think she has in the rotation? How many masks does she have in the Pelican? 2, 3? Because you know it starts to stink in there.

It smells like the Heated Rivalry bag, the Bauer bag.

Yeah. I'm just like, what is there?

Like, is— and I remember when the Daft Punk helmets came out. Yeah. And there were, there were articles about like the evolution of the masks and now like the final, like current version is like, has like cooling fan technology and like, you know, like, so does Horse Girl, is it just like a latex mask that you're—

it doesn't feel decidedly lo-fi. But I wonder—

but there's all— I think it's a mask and makeup. Then the mask, it's like a prosthetic. It's a full—

it looked like a full mask.

I thought it was sort of like a prosthetic that I didn't want to stay—

I didn't want to stare, you know. I didn't want to make it weird.

Horse Girl is used to the—

but it's— it really fascinated me because that was like— this was like a— it's just when you're at a big popping party and it's like, oh, there's Olivia Rodrigo, there's Pink Pantheress, and you're looking out and you're just like, there's a person in a horse mask in this giant crowd. Like, it's just, it's just a wild—

it's like, what is the point of your entire life?

It was crazy, but it was a, it was a good party, I have to say. And it was very young, which I haven't been to a party like that in a while.

Um, speaking of young, I was cleaning out— we had, um, when Carolyn had her birthday a few weeks ago, we got a bunch of like gifts, wine bottles, champagne, blah, blah, blah. And I had to go in and sort out all the non-alcoholic stuff to go dump out. And then I was going through and I separated the champagne with the regular wine. And somebody gave Carolyn a bottle of the Sofia champagne, the Sofia Rosé. And I was thinking back to when the Sofia in the can had these young hoes in a chokehold, like our heyday. Oh yeah. Bad bitch with the Sofia.

Pull up with the four-pack.

With the 4-pack, drop a straw in there.

That's real. 4-pack with the straw. I always was told—

But more importantly, once you turn— once you're not— maybe late 20s, we can no longer bring Sofia as the gift bottle.

I've been told that it's terrible.

No, it's awful. It's the worst wine you could have.

The can is cute though.

I mean, the can was—

Sofia could take some notes. That's the OG of small cans.

Speaking of guia, I have your Christmas present here.

I swear to God, bro.

In the tradition of giving you Christmas ornaments, you get—

did you just give me a Christmas ornament that's a guia bottle?

Yes. Sorry. Petit appétit. No, Chris, don't. Well, Merry Christmas. I'll just ship it to your house.

You can ship it. That'd be great. I don't have a lot of room in my suitcase.

Yeah. It's a hard week to be a Barb right now. I saw what is going on with Nicki Minaj.

I also do you think she had Sexy Red last night?

That one hurt.

Well, I don't know.

That was the Catalino era for me.

This is the thing.

People are like when Red doesn't know what she's doing.

No, she's like sexy. It comes out as Trump's for Mike. I think Sexy Red got $10,000 to play a wedding and she didn't ask any questions.

She got booked at a private.

Yeah.

Got paid in a duffel bag.

Sexy Red does not know what politics means. Like, she's not concerned with that. That is not her job or problem.

You're like, you, you, you perform at a Republican MAGA wedding. He's like, who?

Yeah. Like, who's MAGA?

I don't know him. You're like, yeah, she's like, I forgot how the person was connected to Trump. And then Sexy Red would just say, okay.

Yeah. They don't— I, I, I, I am—

which, which we love her.

Well, there's also a big Ellen Von Unwerth, the fashion photographer.

Who— oh, she shot the homegirl shot.

She shot Melania's cover, and people are like— I mean, I'm talking, they're coming with the— she's gonna get killed the way people are talking.

Look, she should.

It's crazy. But I wonder if—

unless she got blackmailed into taking that photo, but would she just—

at a certain point, you have to know the optics of that, and you have to know that no matter what the price is, it's going to be bad for you.

How weird is it that like when Obama wasn't president was president, photographers would pay money to shoot Richardson famously. But then I feel like in order for somebody to want to take a photo of Melania Trump, it's a, it's like a negotiation for the, for the rate.

$75 million on that documentary, I'm sure.

But I'm just wondering, like, if you're Ellen Vaughn Unworth and they say, hey, what's your day rate? We want you to shoot Melania, Melania Trump, are you just gonna say, okay, cool, here's my day rate? Or do you, is it like the wedding, like, oh, there's a Trump pass. If you want me to, if you want me shoot the president, that's gonna be a million dollars.

The question is, is that her? I don't know enough about her political— like, I wonder. I think she had maybe—

is the homegirl MAGA?

But I think she had done some stuff that, like, I think she had breadcrumbed it, and then when she did that, people were like, I knew it, this bitch. Like, I think that— I think that's the situation.

She's more of a Sydney Sweeney than Sydney Sweeney, but I'm seeing it everywhere.

I'm— it's like, it's a, it's a big thing.

Yeah. Ellen, I know you're listening. Shouldn't have done that.

I just don't— I just like, I mean, if you need bread, you need bread, I get it. But like, at a certain point, it's like you got to trust yourself and know that it's not worth it.

Maybe she was just low on funds.

She might just need a bread.

She's like, I got a Manolo problem.

Photographers are famously overextended. I don't want to bring up Annie Leibovitz, but you know, like, overextended financially. Yeah, you— I mean, at one point Ellen Von Unwerth is making a lot of fucking money.

Yeah. Do you think she fumbled the baggie?

I think it's just Unfortunately, that business— things go in and out of favor, and like, you can't— true, no one's hot forever.

Someone who is hot forever, Lana Del Rey. She got a new single coming out, 10 minutes long, called No Blue Checks in Heaven.

That's too good, man.

It's not bad.

See, the thing is, when she does stuff like that, I really wish I liked her music more because everything about her—

I probably won't like the song, but I like all of it. But it reminds me of the Tupac, I wonder if heaven got a ghetto. And then something that's very you coded is, you know, I wonder if heaven got a Twitter. I mean, like, what if you go to heaven and they also have Twitter there?

I wish I was going to— I don't think I'm going to be welcomed into the pearly gates based on—

based on— oh, very Trumpian of you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Let's just say I don't think I'm going up. I'm going down. Oh man, pretty sure my fate is sealed. Um, but I was, um, a couple days ago I saw another kind of throwback in the, in the Sophia Bubbly situation. There's a— this woman, she was like the saddest looking woman I've ever seen, just had like an awful expression on her face, looked really beat down. And she was wearing one of those sweatshirts in the style of the Spiritual Gangsta, but it said "Choose Happy." And just the juxtaposition of that was fine and funny, but it had me thinking of like, choose happy really was— had a little bit of a moment in the line of the Spiritual Gangsta. I don't remember that. And in sort of like a life is good. Yeah, but it's like, it choose how it would— it would like say it maybe in like rainbow letters on like a coffee mug with like a period at the end sometimes.

Maybe there was a— I mean, there was a lot of those. For a long time. I mean, I see them, I see them all the time, especially on the weekends when people have their weekend shirt that says like, you know, it's like Sunday or Saturday this, Friday that, weekend that.

I saw a good one when we were in Hawaii and I took a beautiful video of it and it said it was the evolution of words that their kid called him and it's like daddy, dada, dad, and at the bottom it says 'Bruh' with the period. And he walked by Carolyn and I, and we were both just like, look up from our books. We— and I'm wearing like a Paris Review hat or something, and we're like, 'Ugh, this guy.' That's fucking—

'Bruh' is funny.

'Bruh.' But that's a real— that's a boomer Gen X gripe, is that like, all of my children call me 'bruh.' My parents—

my parents were not strict at all, but if I called my dad bruh, it would have— I don't think it would have been a problem, but it would have been like, you're an idiot.

Uh-huh.

It wouldn't have been like, I'm gonna spank you.

It would have been just like, he wouldn't give your ear a big old tug.

Just like, shut up, dumbass. You know, like the rightful response to that.

Boy, if you don't—

I know Sydney Sweeney's having a tough couple weeks.

I think she's gonna be fine.

Did you see the pictures in Cosmopolitan magazine? I didn't look at them. I just—

I thought— I think the COVID was a, was a bit of a return to form from our, our generation.

Yeah, I agree. No, it feels—

it felt like, uh, like fucking FHM or loading from the mind of Willa Bennett.

Who showed me— who showed me a video? Oh, Tim, of course, was showing me a video of this stud slayer. This guy who— he, he blindfolded two studs.

It's the stud slayer.

Oh, that's his name. I'd never seen the stud slayer.

And she was like—

Tim was like, watch this one. She's like, I'll beat your ass for real.

He's got a wealth of content. He— his whole shtick is that he's stud slayer. His fetish and kink is studs, and he just goes hunting for studs, you know, like I'm hunting the wabbit.

But this was—

and he'll just pull up. They work at Subway, and he'll wait till she's on her break smoking a cigarette in the parking lot, and he'll be like, what's good? And she'll have like a headphone ear, like, can I help you? He's like, nah, just, you know, just want to say what's up. And she's like, what? And he just starts like spitting real game.

And every single time, like, boy, if you don't get the fuck away Did you see the— did you— have you seen the guy that— the guy from the hood that takes his white friend to do stuff? Yeah, it's pretty good. I feel like they could really have a moment.

Yeah, I mean, I'm a little jealous of those situations.

Yeah, me too. I don't have any friends that'll take me there.

Um, I guess our man Adam— Adán Banuelos arrested in Texas, public intoxication, bro. Bella Hadid's Man, she was seen dancing with him. Just speaking of shave the head, bro, I look— he looking like Rafa in the mugshot.

Nobody looks good in the mugshot. Well, except for the mugshot shorties, of course, but no one looks good in a mugshot. That dude looked like a different person. And would you see that and you know who he's smashing? It is really— it's really—

he's the horse boy.

It was just like, this is really good for guys with personality. This guy must be a fucking hoot to hang out with.

Because he's a champion. He's a champion in his field of humor.

But I, I don't—

but is that the situation? Is he like a rodeo star or does he just do rodeo?

He's like an award-winning— no, he's like a— he's a, he's a guy.

I'm an award-winning—

he's a guy that— he's a, he's a horse rider, a buckle holder.

Okay, okay. From what I understand, he's no slouch in the, in the stables.

He's not— he's no slouch.

Okay, okay, okay. He really is about that shit. But I think I'm a Lewis Hamilton of ponies. I wonder if she's gonna go through a new—

you know, like when the Kardashians Kardashians were like, all right, you know what, we're in our white boy era now. I wonder if she's gonna go through like a cowboy phase or she's gonna return.

I don't even— who is she dating before? Anyone?

Um, yeah, anyone of note? No.

Oh, The Weeknd.

Yeah, but like, that's right, she also dated like guys we know type thing.

But The Weeknd's gay, so I don't know about that.

Don't do that to my man. Don't put that on his jacket.

Nothing wrong with being—

don't put Abel—

I think it's cool.

Don't put that on Abel's jacket, bro.

What does that mean, don't put it on his jacket? Don't put on his jacket.

Don't pin that on him. Don't, don't talk about—

is that a thing that you're making up or is that already exist?

Yeah, don't put on my jacket.

Is that a thing that you made up right now?

No, no, no.

Okay, okay.

It's a thing I learned from probably Joe Budden, I would say.

There we go. The inception point. Okay, dude, I ain't gonna hold you. I ain't gonna—

I won't say that.

Oh, I have a question. When you're listening to the Joe Budden podcast and they start talking about something that you don't want to hear, like we're going to spend 45 minutes dissecting J. Cole lyrics or something like that, Do you, do you sit through it because you like the paint? Really?

Yeah, yeah. So I don't ever— I've never fast-forwarded a podcast in my life. I've literally never hit—

Well, my question was going to be, when that starts happening, how, how far do you fast-forward? Because I, I fast-forward, but I'm, I'm wondering, like, they break it into these sections over the 4 hours or whatever, so I'm like, if the whole episode's 4 hours, I think they're going to talk about J. Cole for let's say 38 minutes, and I'll say, hey Siri, fast forward 38 minutes.

No, I don't fast forward at all because I feel like part of the joy of that is that I want to know about— like, part of me is like, oh, I would like to know about—

oh, I guess you are a hate listener.

Well, I'm just like, I don't like J. Cole. He's one of the dorkiest guys to ever exist, but I do want to know what he's putting out because it's like, know thine enemy. Yeah, I just— I would rather— I mean, sports is worse for me with them because they'll do 20 minutes on football But I also feel like all this information is probably good for me to have, even if it's passive. Like, there's no downside for me here.

I feel like your hard drive only has so many gigs of RAM in it. And why, why want to, why waste that valuable real estate on J. Cole lyrics?

It's not, I'm more, I'm not—

Or whether the Baltimore Ravens tight end is healthy this week.

I guess I'm not. Well, I guess I'm not. Maybe I zone out a little bit, but it's like I hear a clip of a J. Cole song. That I would never push play on myself. So at least I know what's happening, if that makes sense.

Okay.

I would rather know than not know, and I'd rather hear it through somebody who deals in zeitgeistery. Yeah, I just feel like I should know it, you know what I mean? To some extent.

Just like how we should all see Melania, just to know.

Exactly. I just need to know how bad it is. I just gotta know.

I, I know that if it— if I had legs, I would kick you is going to be bad, But I need to know to what degree, like how, what styles, what does bad mean?

I started the Mike Epps standup last night, but I fell asleep too quick.

I worry that I'm, I don't, I don't want to click play.

There's a new cat coming.

Well, yeah, there's like, I mean, that of course, cat's another one where it's starting to turn very similar to rappers or musicians, like at a certain point or maybe tennis players, you see the turn around the final corner. This is whatever happens from now on, it's only getting worse. And I, I, the problem is I noticed that with that stuff.

Yeah, I mean, he's getting— I'm sure Netflix gave him so much money, he's got to do X amount of—

but it's sad to me because I have so much love for Epps and Katt Williams in their both their acting roles and their stand-up. You know, they, they burn so bright and then at a certain point, at a certain point they turn and you gotta know to bow out gracefully. T.I. can't do stand-up.

T.I.'s coming back. T.I. shaved his head and is wearing the fitted again. He's making music. He's back with Toon.

I hope to God that he brings that shit back.

I think if T.I. really reunited with the OGs, he could come back with something. I don't think the world wants it because now it's only Playboi Carti and Fake Mink, but— I mean, I need—

I need to turn my Spotify on and hear Honorable Cino. That's when you know shit's back.

That's true. I've—

they're not Fake Mink somehow getting a burial clearance.

I'm talking to Harrison last night about Fake Mink, and he was saying, I'm like, bro, you're saying words I've never heard before.

Do you remember any of them?

No, it was just like, got artists, a whole thing that I had never heard the words before. Okay. About like collab, you know, this or that, you know, whatever. And I was just like, like, can we talk about anything else? You got anything else? Like, what?

But you weren't interested in knowing this.

Fake Mink, I feel like I know the top line the same way that, like, I— it doesn't feel like I need to actually listen to it.

I will. I have. Okay, just—

I like to know where— I like him getting his little teen back blown out by Frank Ocean. That's what I like.

People not talking about that. Whether— whether Mink likes it or not, you're gonna get this two-piece.

Frank will— Frank will take a guy.

And I forgot, remember when, when Frank Ocean beat up one of Chris Brown's security guards in the studio. So sick.

That's the coolest thing Frank Ocean's ever done. That's why I won't speak on, on Frank, because you know you could get duffed out.

You could get touched. I respect, I respect that. You respect his G. Yeah, I do. I do for sure. I feel like—

how much you respected though, because would you let him like jerk you off, or you're saying you just wouldn't want to? What, like how much? Like how far?

How scared are you Oh, oh no, I just— I, I think that— I don't think that he will like come at me, but you know, I'm not worried that, uh, he's gonna take me down or anything like that. I know that, uh, don't, don't start none, won't be none. That's fair. That's where we'll leave it.

That's fair. He's too busy. He's too busy finding 19-year-olds instead of making music, much to the—

hey man, he's dickmatized. More power to him. Mm-hmm. He already wrote a great album. I don't know if it's gonna age well though.

Which one? Blonde. I think— I thought it had aged well. I feel like people think about that shit, talk about that shit like it's the fucking Beatles.

I know, but it's still— wait till it's Beatles. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'm talking about it because everyone's talking about Kanye records now that he's trying to make a comeback, and people are looking back and saying like, let's put his 6 albums up towards anyone else's in his zone. And like, he's— those clips, it's hard to—

I was talking about this last night too with some people. Those clips of him in Mexico, he's so clearly on his medication. Like, there's just no—

it's like the production, but the right medication, not the nitrous.

But I'm saying that the crowd is so lit and the production is so good that him being up there just being like, doing karaoke, knowing it doesn't matter. Right. It's like it does not matter, which is smart.

A smart way to parade these people out on stage. So when he— whenever he does Kanye at the Sphere or whatever, that's, that's the beauty of playing in a place like the Sphere. It's true. Is that you just stand there doing nothing because nobody—

the visuals do the work for you, as they say.

They almost hide the band.

Yeah, sure. I mean, that's the whole point. Hide the Ye. I can't wait to see Ye at the new mini Sphere in Maryland. They're going to let him start there before they take it. All right. Do a couple here. Make sure you don't say anything fucked up. If you can get through. Yeah. We'll let you go to Vegas after that. We'll let you, we'll let you through. If you're, if you're good, we'll get you a suite.

And if I see as much as one Sieg Heil, mister, you are not, we're not, you're not doing this with you, Kanye. I'm not doing this with you. Okay. So yeah, we got, we're going to do some potting this week. From LA. Oh, Ian's calling me right now.

He called me too.

Are we in trouble? And we're recording a pod. I'll hit you after. Apology not accepted. But yeah, we're gonna be doing some potting here in LA. You're here for another few days, right?

Yeah, we're recording another one of our YouTube specials.

Oh wait, that's tomorrow, right?

Tomorrow morning. Yeah, we're doing— we're recording.

Already hungover in advance for that. I feel—

I've stayed out till like 1:30 2 nights in a row, and tonight I know will be more of the same. But then Monday, Tuesday, it's done.

But on Monday and Tuesday, we're on screen.

I mean, I don't really care.

Yeah, well, you don't do drugs and alcohol.

But yeah, but it's more of a mental thing for me.

It— to me, it's more of a facial thing. I'll just let that one go. Howlonggone.com is the website. Enjoy our broadcast. Apple, Spotify, anywhere you enjoy, wherever you get RSS feeds. Follow me on social media, follow Chris on social media. That's all right. Thank you. Bye-bye. There's a new way to Sweetgreen. Meet Wraps. Handheld, hearty, and made for life on the move. With bold chef-crafted flavors, fresh ingredients, and over 40 grams of protein, they're built to satisfy without slowing you down. Try Wraps today in the app or at order.sweetgreen.com. Available at all participating locations.