941. - Chris & Jason

All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you?

We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.

All good.

Jason, is that you? How long gone? Uh, we are— we're— the sun is shining in New York. The temperatures have fallen just a little bit. There's a fall chill in the air, which I'm not mad at if I'm keeping it a whole buckaroonie with you, Jason.

Okay. Okay. Well, it's same thing over here, you absolute bellend. We just got back from a lovely light lunch at the River Cafe.

Nothing says light lunch like a pizzette. Do you know what I mean? When I think of light lunch, that's one of my favorite.

Are you being sarcasm?

No, I would never. Are you being sarcasm? I am a little bit, I have to say, even though the pizzette is quite thin. It does feel like a little bit of an indulgence at lunch.

It is thin. I think it is topping dependent. And although my pizza was—

Pause. What was the— Yeah, topping dependent is right, bro. What is the—

I've been reading Ryan O'Connell's book too much.

Oh, bro. Reading Ryan O'Connell's book really make me be like, you gay guys really are demented. Everything— It's some twisted shit in these books.

Yeah, even— Sorry for the ass side, But even Ryan mentioned that, you know, like, you know, when you're a kid, like growing up in the '80s or '90s and people would talk about how homosexuality would be considered a mental disease. And he was like, I met some gay guys from Boston and Chicago and Provincetown who, you know, I started to understand that claim a little bit more.

Yeah, he wouldn't put that, I'd put it on him too, but that's a different conversation.

Those are the words of him, not us, of course. Of course, we do not have the authority to speak on tops or bottoms.

No, we don't.

But yeah, the pizza was petite and it was light and perfectly cooked, of course. And even though there was some sage and some kind of wilted greens on top as well as some capers and I think even some small thinly shaved lemon, there was also kind of like a Taleggio style of cheese on it. Okay, sure. It's not super funky like a blue, but It has some stink to it, and it has a little, you know, a little barnyard chew to it as well.

You love a barnyard chew, historically, from what I remember. Not crazy, not an overpowering barnyard chew, just enough to get the palate wet.

That reminds me of the, the baseball gum, the little— what was that called?

What are you talking about?

Big League Chew? Big League Chew, yes. Barnyard chew, Big League Chew, there's something going on there, bro.

I'll pack a lip right now, bitch. Don't test me. I'll put a fat-ass lip of Big League.

I used to love to pack a little. Oh, I would Big League Chew.

Now that everybody's Zenin, I think they forgot about Big League Chew. You know, I bet sales are down.

Yeah. When we took the train over there and then kind of walked along the River Thames, she's seen better days, but popped in. And then one of the cooks who was working there came out when we were walking in and said that he was a big fan of the pod and we had a little chit chat. So shout out to you. I forgot. Or actually, we didn't exchange names.

Even better.

But it was funny. As we were walking away from each other, him back to the kitchen and me to the dining room, He just yelled out the word parasocial as he walked away. And I was like, that was great. That's— I wish every interaction could be like that. I love whoever you are, cook at the River Cafe. We need more of you.

Shout out to you, big bro. Well, I mean, back here stateside, I just— I wanted to put you— I know you're kind of, you know, you're not really paying attention to what's going on. You're enjoying yourself in London. It's a different country. Things are different.

But I'm paying attention. I know about the Met Gala and Spencer Pratt and hentai virus. The list goes on.

Well, I was going to say, because I texted with, um, one of our friends this morning, um, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

And what's that old bird up to?

Well, she let me know that this new virus that's coming from the cruise ships, um, guess, guess what will fix it, Jason? It's going to blow your mind what's going to fix it.

Republican Congress, ivermectin.

We're back, baby. All that, all the stash you got from COVID you can bring that back out of the garage fridge. Let's start taking that shit.

Okay. So it turns out the, the, the ant spray also kills the roaches and it also kills the spiders.

For those of us who refuse to lock down, mask up and get vaxxed, took the good old horse paste and also developed natural immunity. Hell yeah, brother. We're back, baby. Another, another disease has come forth to divide our already cracked nation.

Yeah.

And can't wait.

You can't wait. And they can't wait to line the pockets of Big Mecton once again. I think the national or the world narrative and opinion about ivermectin has really shifted since the first pandemic that we went through in the 2020s. Now we're on number 2. But I think everyone is kind of cool with ivermectin, and we're kind of saying like, no biggie. Like, and unfortunately, like, Joe Rogan is sort of primarily responsible for spreading awareness about ivermectin.

I mean, I think now that we're in a—

it's the same thing as ketamine. It's like when you were raving in high school, they're like, dude, that's like horse tranquilizer. And what the fuck? And they— if you— when you give it to humans, it makes you high. That's so great. It's the same thing. Like, this is horseshit too, but now we have heads of state doing ketamine therapy and shit.

Things have changed.

I think I've never taken ivermectin. I hope I never have to have that touch my lips.

Well, I'm sure you can get some at Costco. Use your membership.

I'm sure I can. I'm sure I can. I mean, I don't want to ever, but I don't think I would have a problem. I don't know what the downside is, right?

I mean, I'm sure there's a downside besides being associated with bozos. I think there's probably some medical downside, but the—

Ask your doctor before you take ivermectin.

Hantavirus is, I mean, yeah, whatever. I'm not paying attention to this. We will never lock down again, mark my words. But I see here in the responses to this tweet from Marjorie Taylor Greene, TrueAnonPod has commented, "CBD also very effective at mitigating symptoms." So if there's something a little more palatable for you, you Daily Chieftains, Maybe get some of that CBD, the non-alcoholic marijuana.

Is there something that fucking the OG Kush can't do at this point?

Definitely not, bro. OG Kush, that fixes it all. That will fix anything.

It's a good segue into THC talk because I've been having some trouble sleeping, you know, time zones and this and that and blah, blah, blah. And I realized last night When we were talking to David Choe, I'm going through a treat talks, a good old-fashioned treat talks.

I mean, are you drinking enough? I feel like when you're there, you might not be drinking enough.

I might not be drinking.

Yeah, you need to put down more.

I've been drinking a good amount.

Sure, sure. Well, who's to say what's a good amount though? You know what I mean? You have a big tank. It costs over 100 to fill that thing up. You know what I mean?

Obviously I'm not drinking enough because I'm because of the night terrors that come every evening. But I don't know, it's like, because when I, when I got into Paris and I linked up, like I said, with friend of the show Brodinsky, he handed me his, you know, little spliff, passed me the, passed me the, the doja over. And I was like, oh, thank God I get to enjoy some international kush. But, you know, a French spliff compared to my Cali kush, bro, that—

no, bro, that shit is a cigarette. That's just a cigarette.

I got the same amount of head change is when Carolyn gives me half an Advil PM, you know what I mean?

Yeah, that ain't gonna work. That ain't gonna do shit. No, French people don't know how to smoke weed.

Yeah, unfortunately it wasn't loud enough.

Yeah, they don't know how to smoke weed. They're good at DJing and stuff, but they don't know how to smoke weed.

But also, but Brodinsky is so good at smoking. Like he's one of those, like he lived in Atlanta for a good amount of time. Like he knows what the pack is and I just feel bad that he's not able to access that.

It's possible that—

In his native land.

It's possible that he maybe doesn't want that after that experience though. You know what I mean? He could have— oh, he could have kushed too hard when he's in the lab with Ray Shrim, and it kind of caught up with him.

And now he was in Kodak Black's Fort Lauderdale and cares to return never again.

You know, there's not a lot of things I'm scared of, but smoking weed in a studio with Kodak Black is something I'm scared of. I don't know if that's gonna end well for anybody.

It's got anything but marijuana in that.

Wait, Kodak's going— that we got— Kodak got popped, right?

Drug trafficking charges. Sniper Gang Kodak, cause I got it by myself. Which I would like to believe that he just had enough on me, you know, intent to distribute, because I don't think— I mean, he doesn't even know how to tie his own shoes, let alone run a trafficking ring.

He ain't distributing, there's no way. No, that's, that's definitely— that is definitely a trumped-up charge.

No, I just do 700 pills a week, it's not— I'm not selling them, bro.

Let him, man, let this man— like, what You know, if somebody's just— I don't know, I just feel like cops, obviously the stupidest people on earth, willfully ignorant in this situation. But having a zip and a couple and, you know, whatever, 30 perks, that's not district, that's personal use. We gotta re— we gotta be honest about what personal use means.

I agree. And they— I'm reading the article on TMZ. Cops found a bag containing several items including a bottle of prescription cough syrup which had Kodak's fingerprints on it. So yeah, no shit, drug trafficking for having a bottle of Maybe now.

I mean, maybe they're cracking down so hard on the act because, I mean, I told you I couldn't get it in, in LA. They had the signs up. Maybe, maybe it's, it's, it's, it's so criminalized now that if you have a— but look, a bottle of syrup, look, what are you breaking that down into little shot glasses and selling it?

Yeah, like, you know, you can't—

like, what do you— how are you packaging that? It's like a Nutcracker uptown. You do your own package.

Let me get a dime bag of tussin.

Yeah, we get a dime— yeah, you get a dime bag, you gotta mix it yourself with Sprite, or maybe you could do a pre-mix. A little premix might be nice, like a DJ, like cheating, you know what I mean?

It's— yeah, what— it's the—

when Tinashe DJs, it's the same shit. We need a premix.

Okay, it's not an Irish car bomb, it's a Lennox car bomb, we'll call it.

There, oh, let's go, baby! Oh, Jason Cook with that one. Lennox car bomb. Yeah, you buy a little 40 bag of lean, dump, dump that in the Sprite, tip it upside down, getting the Monte Carlo on 22s, and you're going to Bankhead.

Let's go, everyone, get in! We gotta go to Benihana.

I don't know about you guys, I'm super I feel super hungry and bloated right now. If you guys want to go to Benihana, that'd be great. That'd be great for me.

We were walking in Paris and we found like the most quaint little kind of street, a little center. And they had like an old fountain in the middle with some ducks like living in the pond. Like it was the most little serene, adorable French setting. You know, old people eating nuts and reading books and stuff like that. And that was, that's where they decided to put the Benihana of Paris. It was, it was really sticking out like a sorey.

Well, I mean, when everywhere is so, you know, when everywhere is so quaint and beautiful and meant for women, where are you going to put, where are you going to put the Benihana? Do you know what I mean? There's nowhere good, you know, unless you put it inside the airport. I don't really know what the plan is.

Maybe that's a good, I was, I was going to think like we need a way to save Benihana, but I think they're doing just fine despite being disgusting.

Oh, definitely.

I was thinking like, how cool would it be if Benihana was like dudes only?

I mean, well, I was gonna ask, like, as, as we— Paris, as, as I've said many times, is a city for women. What do you think is the city for men? London's got to be up there, but what, what do you think as, as a city? You know, Sydney? What else feels, you know, man-coded? That's, that's a glamorous— still not, not like, not Kansas City, you know what I mean? Not Rust Belt shit. I mean like an international glamorous, you know, city you want to go to, but it feels, you know, 70-30 men to women as far as who they're trying to attract.

I'm gonna go with Turkey.

This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.

A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's Sweet Spot. How many times do they do?

3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points, that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess.

The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother.

Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, uh, stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch on YouTube. It's 3 times a week. And, and who couldn't use more news, you know, especially especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it, give it a listen, give it a listen. Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water.

He knows how to charge my copay.

Exactly.

That's about it.

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Oh, Turkey for sure. But that's, that's not, I mean, yeah, but they don't like women. You know what I mean? I'm just thinking of—

I mean, it's tough because girls, they run the world. As Beyoncé said, don't ask. There's got to be.

Yeah. Don't ask homeboy about that.

But like, you know, Turkey, Turkey, that's where all the lads go to get their hair, their hair done. It seems like they're not into respecting women and their spaces over there.

It seems like that's true.

The fellas got a little Istanbul on lockdown.

Yeah, somebody on the red carpet asked, um, Paul Anthony Kelly from Love Story what his favorite Beyoncé song was, and he said, I don't have one, I listen to metal. And— or I'm like, I'm a metalhead.

Oh yeah.

And I've never seen people react more stupidly to something, calling him a racist for not liking Beyoncé. Like, first of all, he was like, he really might not know, like, on the— after doing 1 hour of dumb dumb red carpet interviews at the Met Gala when you're used to being a hot e-com model in Oregon with 2 kids, and then you're run— you're running to your seat and they ask you what your favorite Beyoncé song is and you're supposed to come up with some cute answer about Single Ladies or like how you're, you know, whatever. I'd let this look, bro, that is not— you— we all don't have to—

I really like the song Partition.

Yeah, I don't think we all need to like Beyoncé. This stan shit is so crazy. He's getting destroyed.

So are people coming for— are people coming for him saying, oh yeah, it's crazy, this man is a disgrace for not being able to name a favorite Beyoncé.

No, no, straight up racist. Like, this is racist, racist-coded. How on earth? She's the co-host of the night. I'm like, first of all, you think this guy knows what day it is or who the co-host of the Met is? Like, you got that wrong. This, this himbo is showing up to get a fucking— see how many Coronas he can take down before the fucking dessert course. It's not It's not that serious.

Well, he's doing it the right way. He's saying that. He's probably not in the comments on Douxmoi name-checking himself. He's probably just like, yeah, I said a thing and I will see you guys next week and you guys can argue about it if you want.

It's just a crazy—

Put yourself in his shoes. If the reporter asks you that same question, you run into your seat at the Met Ball, what are you saying? Are you going to name a Beyoncé song or are you going to say something cool?

I'm gonna name a Beyoncé song and keep it moving so I don't get crucified. I'm not—

name the song. I'm, I'm saying, I'm asking you the question, what are you saying exactly?

Oh, I don't, I, I don't know off the top of my head. I don't, I don't listen to Beyoncé, but there's one Beyoncé song that sampled OutKast, I think, that I really like.

Okay.

Do you remember this? Do you remember this? I'm gonna look it up because it is my favorite Beyoncé song, and it's— I don't, I'm not— I mean, obviously she's got hits, but like, maybe you're more of a Destiny's Child cat though, right?

That's— well, that's the answer I would have chambered. I would say I like My favorite Beyoncé song is anything by Destiny's Child because Destiny's Child is way better than Beyoncé.

I mean, yeah, that feels like—

what's the best New Order song? Is Joy Division— any Joy Division song? You know, the list goes on. One's, you know, it's just— they're both great. They're both awesome. But if you got to pick one—

hold on, hold on, bro. You're telling me that there's a song on Lemonade called 6 Inch featuring The Weeknd? That's crazy work. That's crazy, bro.

Not even talking about the Converge vinyl or nothing?

Nah, that's crazy. I don't know. So I'm trying to look at— I don't know what song I like by Beyoncé.

So what would you tell the reporter? Camera's rolling. Uh, well, I guess you would say, I love Beyoncé, I love all Black women, I just can't name one single song.

I guess, I guess Flawless Remix featuring Nicki Minaj is gonna be my, my go-to, probably. If I had to, if I had to, if I was on the spot.

You know, the way you said, the way you said your favorite Beyoncé song of all time, listeners keen with a keen ear might be able to pick up that it almost sounded like you were reading it off your computer screen instead of just saying it from memory.

I was 100% reading it. I don't know this shit. I cannot find this song. I like this sucks. There really is a Beyoncé song I really like and I'm not seeing it anywhere.

Well, and you missed your seat and you missed the first round.

Who gonna break my soul? I like that one too.

Who gonna break my soul? I like that one.

That's a little— yeah, I like that one.

Okay, so you're more into more of her kind of diva house reworks then.

Okay, you know me, I'm a diva house guy at the end of the day.

I mean, how do you— I mean, we're naming all these dumb songs and, you know, blah, blah, blah. Any, any fucking Ladies Leave Your Man at Home. The club is full of ballers and their pockets full of gold. And now you fellas leave your girl with her friends because it's 11:30 and the Like that, that's, that's better than any Beyoncé song.

Come on, bro. I— look, I agree. I, I'm not— dude, I don't like any of this shit. It's crazy she let James Blake feature, man. What the hell, bro? Oh, it's called— oh, I think, I think this is it. I think this is it. Hold on, let me listen for one second. Yeah, yeah, All Night.

Oh yeah, All Night.

Yeah, All Night, All Night, track 11 on the classic Lemonade album. You may remember the visual album, Jason. I know you're a smoker.

Yeah, of course, of course. And that era, there was a lot of like, uh, there's a lot of random random ladies who like work in HR and stuff who, you know, maybe they decided to wear a gold or a diamond tooth on their birthday that year because of that album.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, Lemonade was a moment in time. I didn't realize 6 Inch by The Weeknd was— I just can't get over that.

What do you think that's about?

Bro, I don't know. Subway? I don't fucking know. Maybe he likes— he likes— he can't take 12. He needs 6 when he gets the tuna.

You thought the song is about— it's about Abel's eminent weight gain thanks to the Subway?

No, his weight gain—

a sugar franchise.

Talk about perks. His weight gain was not from Subway. His weight gain was— nah, it's different.

Little from column A, shawty.

Little from column B. Yeah, that's true.

What does the song 6 Inch by Beyoncé mean? It's an anthem of female empowerment, wealth, and independence celebrating hardworking women who grind to earn their success. The 6 inch is in reference to a heel So, you know, not only do they have to do all this same stuff that women do, that men do, they got to do it in heels and period.

Well, Beyoncé is doing fine. And I think that The Weeknd is doing fine. So everybody landed on their feet except for Paul Kelly. But, you know, I think he'll be okay too.

He'll be just fine. But when I was watching him say that, I was like, there's a strong chance that the metal that you are listening to is is maybe not going to be as awesome as we want it to be. I'll hold out, but he looks— I'm afraid that he's so pretty, he's either like a Gojira head, like something real bad.

Yeah.

Or if he's just like, I mainly just listen to like dungeon synth and like Mortis and stuff like that, I'll be like, okay, flat.

You're giving him way too much credit. I think metal to him means— metal to him means either Deftones, Metallica, or he could be Converge mastodon. And I know those things sound really close to each other, but they're kind of far away.

He's mastodonian. Mastodonian. Okay.

And the type of— and the type of guys that like that stuff.

Okay. He's like early anal cunt.

Yeah, yeah. I saw, I saw a guy wear an Ass Suck shirt yesterday on the street.

Okay.

I was riding by, I was like, hell yeah, bro. And I think he thought I was making fun of him, and, and I, I didn't have time to turn around and tell him that was a genuine props. Like, that— this is cool.

He's like, oh, never— no one's ever congratulated.

It was— I mean, to be fair, from my look To be fair, it looked like a, it did look like an aftermarket bootleg. It wasn't an original.

Oh, he wasn't at Gainesville Fest '97 or whatever, but he wasn't giving Train Hopper.

He wasn't giving Train Hopper. He was giving good looking guy with an ASIC shirt. But it was still good to see that in the wild of SoHo, New York.

Okay.

2026.

I mean, I, I, worse things have, have come across my gaze than a, than an Austin Butler assouk fan.

Uh, no, I agreed. No, that's, that's, that's actually table for two.

I'll take that.

That's best case for everybody. That's best case for everybody. Exactly.

Yeah. We need to write the next great American novel, you know, Hemingway-esque, but it'll be a— it'll be Austin Butler. He's a crusty train hopper making his way from Bend, Oregon to, you know, Detroit or something like that, Dearborn, riding the rails. Look, I think fucking his way through Idaho.

Austin Butler, if he— if there was a store in LA that sold, you know, Carhartts with a butt flap, you know, he might have a pair. They trick him over at Golden Age, put him in the Carhartts.

Yeah, the train. I'm just— I'm gonna go in this pond over here and just like probably like skinny dip for a while if you want to watch.

What does crass mean? Is that like a word or is that just like the brand that's covering my butt? Oh God.

Okay. Speaking of butts, okay, I'm at this hotel in London called the Athos or Athos. It used to be a Nobu Hotel, but now it's an Athos. It's nice, but—

The one in Shoreditch?

Yeah, Shoreditch. Ran into DJ MK, Mark Kinchin here, staying here. Don't mean to dox you, lad. But yeah, it's in a very, you know, I'm in the Times Square of London basically, but it used to be the Nobu and they did a good job turning it over into a beautiful kind of modern, warm, woodied hotel. But when I was in the locker downstairs, the gym is in the bottom, like bottom floor basement. I hit the gym, hit the sauna, had a steam room, schwitz, hit the cold shower, and then I go back to my locker with all my stuff and I typed in the wrong code and I had to basically crack the locker.

Okay.

All right. Maybe like 30 times to finally get how I typed it in the wrong way. But it was one of like, no one was in the gym. There was not a single phone. And if I left the locker room that I was in, I wouldn't be able to come back in because I didn't have the key card because my key card was in the locker. So it was just, it was just me and a towel. Oh, me and a towel.

It was TJ, TJ versus locker, TJ versus locker towel edition.

Yeah. So I couldn't go, I couldn't leave that area, which had no fun, but basically I finally got it. But then. I get dressed and I realize that I forgot to bring underwear. So I had to freeball it. And I hate to say it's been so long since I freeballed. I hate to say it. I kind of liked it.

What was the story on the bottom?

What was my trouser story? Yeah. My trouser tail was a pair of very soft khaki pants, vintage khaki pants.

Well, you were wearing them just upstairs. You weren't like going out for the night.

I was not going out for the night. No, but I did, I did walk over to the coffee shop across the street and grab a little, little pick-me-up really quick. But I, so all that is to say, I had a stroll that was maybe like 2 minutes.

Okay. Nice. So you test, you were testing it and you were like, you know what, maybe I can leave the skims at home.

Maybe. Yes. Maybe. No. I mean, obviously I have no intention of, of not wearing underwear the way, you know, you and I probably did when we were 19, I'm assuming.

Yeah, I would. I would know.

Did you ever have a free ball phase?

No, that was, that was for guys that wore Miss Sixty jeans. I wasn't doing— I'm a man, you know, I was a little more 18V. Yeah, that's a little more 18 Vision.

That was a—

yeah, I didn't have a flat iron. I didn't have any girls' clothes and I never wore makeup. I did a lot of shit that was stupid, but those three I missed.

You did have a thick necklace made out of beads.

Oh yeah. I mean, stacked from from clav to chin for sure.

What was on your one king down stack?

That's for Zach Bowman. My one king down stack.

There's, yeah, there's 4 people who get that joke. And if we were on a Patreon, we would get $10,000 from each of them.

My one king down stack was just beads, mostly wooden in nature.

So it wasn't mixed media, nothing stainless steel?

No, there was no, no, I was no, no stainless steel. That was too hot topic, but you would mix in a black bead as well. And sometimes if it chick— if a chick made you one, it might have a little color in it or whatever, you know what I mean?

Put her stamp on it.

All those little Taylor Swift bracelet culture, that's all from emo chicks. That's all hard. That all comes from like preschool, which came from raver.

It came from ravers. Yeah, yeah, ravers started it, straight edge people stole it.

Well, I mean, when I, when I was watching Taylor Swift talk to Joe Coscarelli and she was talking about how, you know, the genius lyrics of Pete Wentz and Dashboard Confessional, I was like, well, I know, I know where Taylor got it from. Because Taylor wasn't ever, ever in the warehouse at 4 AM peeking. That's for sure. No, no, no.

She was studying with Professor Cabrera.

Yeah.

Learning the great scriptures.

I'm reading your letters. Those are the great scriptures. Yeah, those are the great scriptures.

Honestly, like maybe a month ago, Carolyn was going through a big dashboard confessional phase and I was like, wow, I really wish Chris was here so you guys could talk about this thing that you both like so much. Because I never really had a Dashboard Fae. I was too straight to listen to it.

I'm gonna say that it's actually aged better than most things, and I think that he, uh, he's sort of a treasure because I think he's just got such a great attitude and he just keeps doing it and it keeps working. And I think every 10 years, like, new people discover it. It's kind of an enviable career in many ways.

He's the Skrillex of emo. And, and nowadays in 2026, the lyric 'Your hair is everywhere.' Oh, it's kind of, you know, at the time I was like, are you guys hearing this? This is what you guys are all in? Like, am I taking crazy pills? But compared to the lyricism of 2026, bro, not counting the Earl Sweatshirts of the world, of course, like, it's a, it's a pretty clever little word.

'Your hair is everywhere.' The thing is, he's talking about, maybe he's talking about after he beat it up, her hair was messed up, or maybe he's talking about Some classic like, yo, my chick found some strands in the bed that weren't from her. You know what I mean? It could mean a lot more sinister things than we're thinking. You know what I mean?

It could be predicting male pattern baldness.

Big Dash on top of it. Big Dash was too early. You know what I mean? He's been saying shit. That could be a line. That could be from Cam'ron. It's so articulate. It's so well put.

Your pubes are everywhere. Yeah. Dashboard knows it's a marathon, not a sprint. He said, I'm still spending fucking '90s money. He's still spending big face hundreds right now.

No, no, he's light work. Light work. I think he's— I think his— I think he has a child that is in college, which is fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy.

Like, damn, my kid and my girlfriend are both in college. It's so crazy.

I also think he's— I wish that was the case. I think he's just like a guy. I think it's just, you know, when musicians, it's just like, this is my job and I love it. And there's— they don't take advantage of any of the other stuff that comes with it besides the money they earn. I think he's one of those, one of those guys.

It's like, yeah, I'm a welder, I weld, I go home to my family. I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm so bummed, bro. I have to miss—

like, so you don't take any free head at all?

Okay, now free hit. Now free hit. I have to— dude, I have to miss. There's a fucking new Brandon Flowers solo album. They're doing a playback tonight. Got the invite from the head of the label and I can't make it, bro. I can't go listen to the new— I'm, I'm so— and I saw Ronnie. I had a meeting this morning with Anna from Huxley at the Crosby Hotel. I saw Ronnie from the band, from the Killers, with his, with his family, and it took everything in my power not to approach and be like, what's up guys? Like, let's get this going. What is— when are the Killers coming on? How Long Gone? What, what is it going to take, bro? I'll pay the bill.

Security!

I'll buy your kids some fucking orange juice. What can we do?

The overnight oats have been paid for. Let's get a date on the calendar.

I just peeled, I just peeled off a $20 for a fucking boiled egg and you're not gonna come on the podcast? But the, um, So I do have to miss it. But Morby's playing a little show at Lucinda's in the East Village, which is like Lucinda Williams opened like a small bar. So I'm going to— I am going to be able to catch that. So I'm excited about that. It's going to be a big night for me. I've gone out every night this week. I'm fucking— I'm seeing double.

Same girl.

I know. But when I'm on the road, it feels normal.

It is.

Yeah. I don't know. Like, I'm not going to sit in a hotel room on a Tuesday night, but I'm going to sit in my own house on a Tuesday night, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So we went to Marcel. We went to Marcel last night.

What is Marcel?

It's a new restaurant that's at the Sotheby's in the, the Brewer Building uptown, like across from Gagosian on 72nd. And it is fucking popping, banging, like a big expensive New York restaurant. It's the La Mercerie people, Roman and Williams. Um, but I was very impressed, I have to say.

It's a continental restaurant.

I thought it was because I'd walked by a few times in the room because Flora Bar used to be there, so I know the room. I used to go there pretty often. I really liked Flora, and, um, it was just a real— it felt like a real— it felt kind of like, uh, a less Republican grill. Oh, like it felt a little like everybody's rich, it's really serious, the service is really good, the uniforms are cool, there's an Elizabeth Peyton in the bathroom lounge. It's like, it's just— but the food was banging. I was, I was a little worried it's gonna be too fussy for me, but we were able to navigate. I was, I was very pleased.

I guess it has a little— the grill meets the Vaudor in terms of food and vibes because it has those French classics, you know, a little poivre.

Really good though.

But I'm seeing they have a baba au rhum.

Yes.

On the dessert menu. Did you get that one?

No, we got the madeleines, which were— they came with like a jam of some kind. They were delicious. And then we also got— there's a dessert on the menu called the window. Mm-hmm. I— we didn't order it and it came to the table. I was like, I don't know what this is. And it was so fucking good. I had to ask the pastry chef like, what is this? Because this shit is too crackin'.

The best window I've ever eaten. Literally.

Yeah, I've eaten a lot of windows and this is by far the best window.

Um, frick, did you put in this window? Okay, it looks good. I was admiring, um, the, the Baba al-Rum, which is like a dessert that it's kind of like a, a cake that has rum kind of poured. It's rum soaked into a little whipped cream on top.

I saw a guy I saw a guy next to us was eating that and did look delicious, but I did avoid it because of the rum contents.

Yeah, that's not edge. But when I was in France at Chez Daniel, I believe they have like a very— I don't know, it's like a drink policy that I really would like to see more of where you— with alcohol, they leave the bottle and then you kind of like pay what you drank.

An honor bar, an honor bar situation, but they have eyes on it.

It's an honor bar situation, but when you order the baba au rhum, they just bring a bottle of rum with a little pour spout on it and just set it on the table and walk away. And it's up to you how much rum you want to put on there. And they don't charge you extra if you pour extra shots on there.

Yeah, yeah. It's just like a fun thing.

And I think that we need to have more honor bar-like baller activities like this.

You're out of your fucking mind. We can't be trusted in this country. Are you crazy?

Well, that's the thing.

Somebody would put that bottle in their purse. We police ourselves.

That's the beauty of it. Obviously we're not going to do this at B-Dub-Dubs or Hooters or whatever, but let's say our friend of the show, Al Wilmont, his restaurant in LA, Bar de Bello. It's a small room. Everyone's drinking. They have the big Negroni in the chalice. You ring a little bell. It creates a fun environment. And it's also, it could be a spendy baller kind of move. Like, let me get the Baba Rum. It costs $100.

Yeah.

You're like, oh, why does that cost $100? And like, you'll see. No, that's true. And they just bring a nice bottle of rum and then It's up to you to pour how much you want on there.

Yeah, it was— that does—

the whole room is looking at you.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, sure, we start chanting and stuff when you fuck it up.

So if you only do one glug, pussy. Yeah, you do 8 glugs, you're like, that's too much. You're getting greedy.

That's too much, dude. You're going to get drunk. Yeah, that's that work. That sounds super fun. That'll really bring up the ambiance in any room.

Look, in any room, we need— these restaurants need to encourage more fun drinking because alcohol sales are in the tank. Our food sales are being decimated by our retatrootides.

There was a, um, we gotta get going. There was a, yeah, the girls next to us ordered martinis and they came in these really beautiful glasses and it was like a different look. It was like a different look than I'd seen ever before for a martini glass.

It's a different look.

I just was sort of like, oh, those are cool looking and they feel extra cold, you know? Something about it was screaming cold, even though there wasn't a stem to hold onto in the same way that you would.

Well, I think a thicker glass can hold more of that chill.

Okay.

Like a big heavy beer stein versus that petite kind of windowpane thin.

I want you to get to the point where you have in the man cave, you got the pint glasses, the steins in the fridge.

Oh yeah.

In the freezer. So the fellas come over here.

I wouldn't mind getting to that point as well.

You know what? For your 50th, for your 50th, I'm going to buy you like an acai on tap for the kitchen. I think that'd be a nice gift for you.

I was going to say, no, no, no. I want, it has to be the Sapporo Ninja Sword draft pull.

Yeah, we can do that.

Carolyn will maybe love it. Maybe not. We'll see. Might have to do like a little cozy to go over it, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

But there was a, there was a, Did your mom ever have a cozy to put over kitchen appliances? Like a little something to cover the KitchenAid or the blender or something?

Bro, she— during, I would say from the time I was 13 to 19, she wanted to put a cozy over me in the house so she'd have to look at my fucking ass with a fucking labret piercing and necklaces on. But no, I don't think— no, we had— luckily in our kitchen in Conyers, there was set— there was a lot of storage in that kitchen, so most things were able to be tucked in a drawer or a cabinet.

No necesito cosito. Got it.

No, but I think getting you one of those, like a— like my version would be the, the, the Chameleon cold brew. No, the Suntory sparkling water machine. They have it, uh, at Superiority Burger. That's Superiority Burger. It spits out the good shit.

You thought you knew about bubbles.

Now you— well, or like on Hacks, in her kitchen, Jean Smart's kitchen on Hacks, she's got the fucking— the full soda lineup.

She got the Diet Coke that, that got the different Static flavor.

Yeah, but the famous, I mean, most famously there's the Tommy Lee with the Starbucks in his basement. We never, how could we forget that from MTV Cribs? Sure.

And those people are still down there living off of expired cinnamon, cinnamon rolls. Actually, we went to the Starbucks today. I just went in and grabbed a bottle of water to put some of my Magna in. And, uh, their, their offerings are really shitting on American Starbucks. Like all when you see the little display window of like the little snacks and things you can get and they're just like plastic pictures of food with like dust and flies on them, you know?

Yeah. Let me get that Danish. That looks delicious.

Let me get that hand Danish. It was hand painted in 2007. No, but the one just like a random shitty one next to the train station, not like a Starbucks Reserve. You know, in the Wharf or anything like that. It was, it was all business location. Full, full tins of freshly made cinnamon rolls that are being like cut out with a spatula and put on a plate to order like we're at the corner bistro or something.

Yeah. Yeah, bro. But did you taste one though?

Of course not.

That's the thing. Because I'm like, I'm like, I'm sure that's a nice presentation, but I don't— if it don't taste— it's still going to taste like Starbucks food. It's still going to taste like Cisco or whatever. Whatever the local Cisco is.

Yeah. I mean, not the local Cisco, it's the Cisco local, like the same.

Yeah. Local. Got a local. Well, so you've been putting down the pints, but you went to this. I saw that you guys went to that Italian restaurant and, well, what did you think?

Yeah, that restaurant was called— hold on, let me look it up.

Jago gave you the idea, correct? Yeah.

Tiella. Trattoria. It's a little new, newish Italian spot, Trattoria, and great little neighborhood vibe. We had a really good meal. Quite good. The little, little kind of chicken broth with some small, small, like little sourdough croutons that kind of soak up the broth. Little, little parm on top. We got sat at like the cute date night table. It's basically like a two-top in its own little nook, nook and corner with like a rounded table. And it has a big window overlooking the kind of town square. It's definitely like, it's definitely like the best seat in the house, date night kind of thing. And we got sat there. They're nice enough to hook it up thanks to Jago. But there were people sitting right behind us. And one of the, one of the two diners was speaking at a volume that was Like we were like laughing about how loud it was and she was just saying—

Worse than talking to me?

It was worse than talking to you, but because your voice is very loud, but it's more of a lower range frequency. So it's a little more, you know, smooth on the ears versus this higher pitched frequency that can be a little grating, you know what I mean? So, you know, you're giving Boards of Canada and she was giving, you know, Death Grips or something like that.

Thank you for putting it in terms that I sort of understand.

The voice is also, she's, she, her voice is pointed at us, which is then kind of bouncing off the little corner of the room that we're in. And like, we could not hear anything except her stories of like what happened at work today, you know, like the most inane, boring convo. So the server came over and we asked like, hey, you know, bro, no, you've Oh, okay.

I thought you were going to say, "You tell her to shut up." I was like, "Damn, you're bold. You're bold over there." No, we—

I shot her, like, the girl, like, 3 looks who was talking, and she lowered the volume of her voice for like 3 seconds, and then it went straight back up to like— And then like, I was like—

And then can I ask you a question? I don't want to— I don't want to do this. I really don't. And it's the wrong thing to do, but can I ask about her looks?

She wasn't the most attractive bird in the cage.

This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month. And this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But the truth is no one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference.

I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most, that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp. Choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over 6 million people globally are using it and, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp. Help.com/howlong. That is better. H-E-L-P.com/howlong.

Your summer starts now with Memorial Day deals at The Home Depot. It's time to fire up summer cookouts with the Nexgrill 4-burner gas grill on special buy for only $199. And entertain all season with the Hampton Bay Westgrove 7-piece outdoor dining set for only $199. This Memorial Day, get low prices guaranteed at The Home Depot while supplies last. Pricing valid May 14th through May 27th. US only. Exclusions apply. See homedepot.com/pricematch for details. Okay, all right, because I feel like maybe if she was a baddie, you would have found it in your heart to kind of power through if the view was good, is all I'm trying to say.

Interesting angle. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Um, I guess if she was a more fit birch, would we allow— I mean, Carolyn and I would both allow it since we love beauty, but the server came over and, and we moved and it ended up being better. We moved to the bar and we sat there as a little more of in the center of the restaurant and we can chat with the bartender. And it was really funny. We were, we were talking and they were just like, and here's the menu and you have this wine and this and this. And it's, it's a, it's casual and chill, but it still is like a very traditional trattoria. So like, you know, you do this and then this comes in the, the secondi and the primi and the have wine here and have amaro here. You know, there's a structure to it. He referenced something about like, oh yeah, it's a little different than how things are in America. And I was like, how'd you know we were from America?

Here we go.

And I said it. I was like, how'd you know we were from America? Just kidding. Just kidding. Like, obviously you can tell we're from America. He doesn't laugh. He doesn't say anything. Just a straight face. And he goes, "Your shirt." What was your shirt? It was a polo shirt.

Like a regular—

Ralph Lauren polo button-up shirt. It wasn't terrible. I mean, he was joking. He was being sarcastic. Like he was just like fucking with me. But that kind of dry British delivery and it cuts in a way where—

I mean, it's funny.

Very few Americans can pull off. So kudos to you, unless you were being completely serious, then fuck you. But he was a great guy, had a great meal with him. It was quite wonderful, a little pasta fagioli.

Love that.

I love that too. Delicious bread, a nice clam and tomato and garbanzo dish. The olive oil was flowing. A lot of clams, a lot of olive oil, a lot of tomatoes going in my body since I've been in London. And I'm not fucking complaining, mate.

I'm not fucking complaining then.

When we were in Paris, We, uh, we went to the, the Charvet store.

Yeah.

And it got me thinking on a menswear tip. Carolyn got some of the little leather slippies. I got a, I got a couple little silk handkerchiefs for the pocket square.

What are you gonna do?

Wow, you'll be seeing those in New York.

Wow. Okay, bro, go off.

Is that— are you being sarcastic or no?

Uh, I— well, I'll have to see it first and then I'll let you know if I'm sarcastic.

You're gonna like my pockets. Do you have any pocket squares or kerchiefs?

Oh no, I hate those. I mean, I wear— like, with Tom Brown, you have to wear one. Like, that's the only time I've ever worn a pocket square, really.

Does he hit you if you don't?

Um, he wouldn't, but someone would be sent to kind of course correct your behavior.

You'll be reprimanded.

You'll be reprimanded somehow, yeah. But no, I just— I always found pocket squares, they look cool on some people. I just don't think I— I don't like the flair of it, I would say.

Yeah, I feel like, um, since I don't really— I love wearing a suit, I don't always love wearing a tie. And I think it kind of helps dress up a tieless suit look with a splash of contrasting color.

That— no, I agree.

Pause.

I agree with that. I mean, the problem is I go back and forth where if I'm wearing a suit or a jacket, I'm wearing a t-shirt or a tie and there's no in-between really. Like, unless I'm wearing a denim shirt, then I'll wear it with no tie and no—

So you won't wear like an Oxford shirt unbuttoned?

No, not you. I mean, I've done it before. I don't love it. I love a denim shirt unbuttoned or I love an Oxford shirt or a poplin shirt with a tie.

Ooh, what if you had a denim pocket square? Denim kerchief?

Imagine. Oh, that'd really fit in there nice. I'm sure it'd be super comfortable.

A little too melle of Finland for me.

Melle of Finland, exactly. That's fine. Okay, so you got some— that's nice that you got some pocket squares though. That's the most affordable thing there. So glad you were able to find something that wasn't custom.

Hey, I bought two of them though. I bought two of them.

What's that hitting for, big bro?

They're like $125 each, I think.

Yeah, that's not crazy.

I was like, but when I was there, those, uh, I w— we, we got to go visit the, the room upstairs where they have all the fabrics.

Yeah. Yeah.

And you can get the, the made-to-measure suits and pick out the collars and the cuffs and the, all that. And it was really cool, but they had the, uh, the suspender room where it was just, you know, 100 different pairs of suspenders, different colors and clasps and types and buttons and this. And I, I really kind of want to try suspender life. Have you ever done that before?

No, I'm never going to do that. I hate that shit. I mean, I think it serves a purpose.

But what if no one can see? I don't want to walk around like a 1940s boxer.

I could spiritually tell that you're— I could tell. I could feel it on you. You particularly, because I know you. Not everyone, of course.

But the woman that was guiding us, I was asking her about the suspenders and blah, blah, blah. And she was saying, like, you know, this one's more chic than this one and blah, blah, blah. But she was saying like, also, it is, it is healthier and better for the human body. It's, it's less constricting on the gut. And it's just like, and I feel like because I'm like such a tall, lanky lad with not much of a BBL, you know, I really, that belt's kind of doing a lot. Like if I'm not wearing a belt, most of my pants, it's not like they're going to wiggle their way down throughout the night. It's like It's a free fall. It looks like the twin— like my pants just— yeah, not much is keeping them up. So, so I'm always belted.

I like the way belts look though. That's the thing. I like the way a belt looks. That's part of the reason that I like belts.

Maybe we can get like a clip-on belt that's just for show.

Yeah. What if the belt just kind of sat there? It just balanced kind of on my waist.

It seems so nice to set, to set your pants exactly where you want them to be. And then they are only being supported by gravity, hanging freely off of your strong shoulders, not cinching your gut microbiome and intestine.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. On a practical level, it makes sense. It's just dorky if you're not, I would say, 60+. That's the thing. It feels like an age gate.

Okay, well, I'm close.

Yeah, you're not that far off.

But also, what if you're like a badass, non-racist, parentheses, skinhead, You got the fucking— you got the 501s, the suspenders, you got a little vintage tee underneath.

That's different though, that's different.

And also obviously I cannot pull that off, but I'm saying that's one of the most advanced moves that has ever—

t-shirt with suspenders.

Are you saying a rude boy? I am not.

I mean, I— look, I would love to see you in the Doc Marten 12i with the white laces and a fucking, you know, a screwdriver tee, paper thin, tucked into the 501s.

Unfortunately, I'm giving a little more rancid than screwdriver is the shoot here.

I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I love— dude, I was listening to Rancid. Ruby Soho smash. Put that shit on the end of the episode, bro. Ruby Soho. What a great song.

You got it.

Because last night, No Doubt, first show at the Sphere.

Yeah. I saw those janky ass visuals. It was depressing watching that. It made me feel like I was watching something at like a Disney adults activity and not like—

well, that's— I mean, the Sphere, the Sphere is a Disney adults activity.

That's kind of— it is. But when you add the note out to it, It maybe because I'm so close to it, because I am like the target age range of a lot of those people. Like it's a bunch of people who are like in their, you know, millennial folks who have a little disposable income and they are going to go and they're going to buy the merch and get a babysitter and we're going to enjoy the music of No Doubt and we don't even have to stand up. We can just sit the whole time and watch it on a giant TV screen.

That is the whole thing about The Sphere. It just feels— as much as I want to go, I don't know, because anybody who's going to do sick visuals, I'm not going to like the music, you know what I mean? That's the reality of it, because I'm not as— I'm not— I'm not into sick visuals. Like, I don't care. Um, but I— that's the whole promise of the experience, so I feel like I would have to embrace the sick visuals. Yeah, but that's why No Doubt felt like a salve, a nice in-between. But it did look a little depressing.

Yeah, and also because of her her MAGA leanings, you know, I feel like that's going to greatly alter the crowd type as well.

I like the— I don't think the type of people that would go—

or maybe not.

I disagree, actually. I think, I think that— I think the people that love No Doubt either are Republicans now or don't care about that at all.

Yeah, most No Doubt fans are like, oh, finally she's public with the stuff now.

I don't— I really— I kind of feel like it's like, dude, whatever, this shit got me through my 20s. Like, I don't give a fuck that she's married to Blake Shelton and looks like a robot. Like, I don't give a fuck.

Like how I feel about the music of R. Kelly. Got me through my 20s.

Exactly. Exactly. Taught you a lot. I think that she, you know, I think also the body— look, she can still wear the little tank top. She can still wear the little crop wifebeater. I would say most, you know, '50s pop stars cannot do that.

'50s. Yeah. She finally turned from a '50s style pinup girl to a 50-year-old pinup girl.

Did you see? Okay, so there's some stuff going on. Um, with women. Oh, um, just a few. So, you know, Billie Eilish— oh, Billie Eilish premiered something last night. She was on the carpet with our boy Nate. And, uh, yeah, who—

Wolf, who did the pod.

Yeah, yeah, that people are like, what, what happened to her gay shit? What the fuck, she lied? Like, of course she lied. And then Hayden Panettiere, who you— I'm sure you remember from Heroes, classic program with, with, uh My boy Milo, known Milo Ventimiglia, the guy, the hot guy who's known for being a real denim enthusiast. She—

I never watched Heroes, but I think I was familiar with some of her earlier work like Bring It On, of course, etc.

She's written a memoir, come out as bisexual, and that is— she's feeling very, you know, I'm very proud of her for being able to speak her truth. And, you know, I just wonder I wonder if this is going to move the needle for her, if she's going to get a whole new audience because of her sexual liberation.

Sheba.

They say, they say, they say with chicks, what I heard, you got to pick one, bipolar or bisexual. That's what I heard. That's what I heard. And I don't, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm saying people are saying that.

I feel like I know a couple who are both.

You can't. That's the thing. I was going to say that.

That's the thing.

It ain't binary.

You can be both.

You can be both.

So you're saying there's nothing binary about being bi?

Nah, bro, you like— let's not, let's not try to— we can't box these women in. Let them be both. All the bis.

Look, we are not going to box you ladies in. We're giving you two choices.

Exactly. Yeah, you got— yeah, exactly. You got two choices. Which are you, polar or sexual? Pick one.

You're either scissoring or psycho. What's it gonna be?

Scissoring but psycho. That's a good— that could be the song.

Don't make me change it from Rancid now, Chris.

Oh yeah, shit, my bad, my bad. I won't do that.

Yeah, so yeah, so Billie, people want her to be a lesbian, or people just want her to pick one thing?

I think people want— I think that nowadays it's basically like, there was a period where every, you know, pop star woman had to at least, you know, maybe not say straight up I'm bi or I'm gay or whatever, but there was a little bit of a, you know, oh, maybe I'm just down for whatever, you know. And now I think people are a little But like, I think you guys lied to us because of the moment we were in and that was more— that would bode well for you in the public sphere. But I think now maybe we've moved past that.

You're getting greedy.

Exactly.

Saying like, you know, I want to appeal to everyone. And they said, no, no, no. I think fashion has a lot to do with it, where it's just like if the, if the paint job don't match what you got under the hood, then, then people get annoyed and confused because people attach so much of their own personal identity.

Yeah. For sure.

You know, of a musician's— to, you know, if I really love Pink and I'm obsessed with Pink, I'm probably going to be dressed like Pink, you know what I mean? I'm probably not going to be wearing whatever the opposite of lesbian coworker music clothing is.

I love Pink, man. Pink, it's like you look at her, you look at her on stage like, all right, I get it. She could also be a fucking, you know, regional manager at Buc-ee's. There's no— it's like it could go either way.

I don't want Sexyy Red wearing like a tasteful cuckoo intimate set?

No.

While she's up there saying fuck your daddy or whatever it is, you know? So it's confusing. So all the cuckoo intimate people are like, who are all these Sexy Reds? All the Sexy Red people are saying, I don't know if I want to shop at Brandy Melville, I want to shop—

It's so confusing.

At Body. Body by Body.

Body Melville, that's their new— they have Body Melville.

That's when I'm sure— Body Melville, it's just all the same clothes but in different color camo.

That's when chicks really— that's when you know she— oh no, she's a Body Body Melville, if you know what I'm saying.

No, Body Melville, it could be on to something.

No branding.

And I would like to explore this subject more if we weren't two straight men in their 40s.

Body— no, but no, Body Melville is their answer to Gap's Athleta or to Lululemon. Body Melville is, is Skims for, for the Urban Outfitters.

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna— that's— they're coming for Alo, Alo check, bro.

I saw ASAP Rocky's wearing—

it's not a bad idea.

ASAP Rocky was also wearing Alo hoodie this week. What How did aloe— who brought aloe to the hood? That— because the Joe Budden guys wear it. Who is responsible for tricking Black men into thinking aloe is cool? It's a shock.

I don't— I think it's— I think it's less of a trick and more of a wire transfer.

I know it's definitely not that. It's definitely— I mean, Jimmy Butler's the one getting paid, but I don't know if— I really think that like there's some— it's sort of expensive, and I guess maybe your chick wears it and she puts you on. Is maybe what it is. I don't think it's actually— I unfortunately don't think it's more sinister or calculated than that, which, you know, kills me.

Yeah. But I mean, it's tough because there can be people out there who are so awesome and so great and we love them. And then when you see them wearing Alo, not for a check or even for a check, it makes you look at them a little differently. It's like kind of like, oh, maybe you aren't.

It just ain't for men.

I thought your line was further.

It just ain't for— like, you see a guy— I mean, guys are pulling up in the Alo shoes. I mean, there's no, there's no end in sight. There's no line in sight.

Those are people who are like, I never need to see a pussy again in my life.

I mean, the problem, the problem is, I think I have sports. They can't even do yoga. Have you seen— you've been in Europe, you've been— you maybe haven't been paying attention, but our friends over at the Substack Corporation have launched a video podcast.

Oh, do they have a unique subject style, or they— or is it a new style of, uh—

it doesn't look like— I'm watching, I got an email just now, it's called Open Tab. And, uh, the first one is with, with Emily, of course, the, the GOAT of Substack. And it's, it looks to be like her, they're at like a bar, which I'm in. I, the setting is more sort of like CBS Sunday Morning, you know what I mean, than it is like Theo Vaughn, which I prefer.

I guess Seth, um, Seth Meyers, he has that segment where they go get drunk in a bar, but I think they actually—

this is more, I think I would rather see this style though than another like like bad studio. This is much preferred to me.

So, but are they actually drinking, or are they just having like—

there's two in, in the clip I'm seeing in the header. Emily and the, her and the host both have empty pints in front of them.

Okay.

And I'm gonna assume, knowing Emily, Emily will drain a pint. She ain't scared. She definitely, she definitely, she definitely had a point.

One pint, one pint doesn't really—

yeah, but that's too much. But I still feel like it's a better— I, I just think if, if we're gonna— if everybody's got to do video podcasts I'm happy for you to break out of the fucking—

you would think that so many people would be a little afraid to do that, but I guess it's— I'm sure that they have these ground rules and maybe they'll water the drinks down and limit them to a few. No, I think I was looking at it. I mean, I haven't checked it out, but, um, I don't really have any interest, you know, shout out to Substack, you guys rock, but I don't have an interest in like your— tell me your founder story.

There's too many founder stories.

Not for me. No, I, I, we, the world does not need any more founder stories because it's also, it's not a conversation. It's somebody who's not a professional storyteller telling a story drunk on a podcast.

I don't think anybody— well, I just think this makes sense for Substack because that's who their audience is. Yeah, I, I don't want to— I'm not— I don't want to hear it either, but I think that if they're going to do this, this makes sense.

Just like everyone else. Um, you know, whether you like it or not, we do have to pivot to short-form video clips.

No, totally. I, I think it actually is smart and makes sense and is like the sort of— I don't, I don't— I mean, if video is the thing and you've already got the subscribers, like, why not give it to them and see what happens? It's no— it's not— you know what I mean? It's not— there's not really a high risk involved, I guess. No, no.

And you gotta, you gotta get in. You gotta start playing the game.

You got to start playing the You gotta start playing.

Yeah, we have to start playing the game. So we're gonna film a new How Long Gone today. I think the next time you're in LA, which is not too far from now.

No, no, we're not.

But I'm getting my video— my video editing skills are improving. My Premiere Pro skills are improving. I might be hitting up one or two of you bros for some green screen tips, but—

This is interesting, actually.

I'm— It's not that hard.

I've opened this fully and it's a little bit of a combo of sort of like a CBS Sunday Morning or Seth Meyers thing and also So it says what the tab is, like the way the Lunch with the Financial Times in the Sunday says, which the last one I saw, sent it to Ed Cummins because it was killing me. A guy took him to McDonald's, which I thought was so sick because it's— I've never seen that before and I've been reading that column forever and I'm sure somebody's done it before, but I was like, this is a real flex to take the reporter from the FT to McDonald's for your— oh yeah, for your talk.

Yeah, suck it FT. Just kidding, you guys are awesome. Suck it FT. And congrats to Shane Smith from Vice. Launching his, uh, his new social media outlet and podcast where he's going to report about the news in— but not like how your dad watches.

It's unbelievable.

But, but I like, I like that tweet because it said, um, he, he wants his new— the new Vice News platform to be a brand partnership vehicle.

Oh, I mean, look, the thing is, I appreciate it.

Got a kick out of that.

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, because—

but I also admire the honesty of like like, oh, I'm doing this to make money, the same way all you guys are doing this to make money. Is he famous when he needs money?

He needs a lot of money. He doesn't have any money.

But somebody who needs money is also going to say something like, hey, I need, I really need money and you guys know it. Versus like, oh, I just really love, you know, doing a video where we, we copy this other video. You know, what if we lay down on the therapist chair and I interview you and there's a puppy there and we can do something with our hands?

I like puppy. Puppy cute. All right. How Long Gone? Thank you for listening, Jason. Enjoy your time in London. I know you're seeing a friend of the show, Shod, too.

I'm about to go hit Shod and Ben. Good old Chef Ben, who was on the pod not too long ago.

Oh, the GOAT. Shout out to Ben.

Shout out Ben and Shod. We're going to go grab a little pregame meal and then off to the O2 to see Tame Impala with special guest Dua Lipa.

Are they coming to— is Shod coming to the show too?

Yes.

Yeah, nice. Shaad will go to any show. I like that. The thing about Shaad that's so intoxicating is that he can party and he'll go to anything, and he's always got a good attitude. It's, it's, it's truly— it's infectious. Like, I can't—

he has a, he has a real thirst for music and culture, and hopefully that never leaves his innocent little body.

That's the thing.

That's because we used to have that too, and it's gone.

Yeah, long, long gone. New— we got new Charlie at midnight. Guitars are back, fingers are crossed. Rock on, rock on then.

I can't wait to see how rock— hey, I don't, I don't listen to Charlie, I only listen to rock music.

That's—

I mean, that's all about to change because you can have both now.

Just rock and roll. Thank you for listening, uh, Jason. Have fun, and, uh, I will, uh, talk to you later.